I Promise, I'll Leave! But, With No Regrets!!

Chapter 69

♦Chapter 69: Her Burdens♦

As soon as I entered my room, I immediately dived into my bed and began to ponder again.

To be honest, I just wanted to rest peacefully for now but my worries plainly wouldn't stop bothering me.

I wonder how's the plan going by...

Even if I wished to know the situation at their side, I couldn't, since I was aware that I'd only cause holes to open in the operation if I did. And most of all, I didn't want to cause them trouble because of my actions just so I could satisfy my curiosity.

Moreover, if I were to be considered as a hindrance from that, I'd be no different from my bastard brother.

They can compare me to anyone, but not him...!! I internally proclaimed with a grumpy face.

Just then, the fresh flowers on the vase caught my attention.

"Aren't those... violets?"

I carefully got up of my bed to take a closer look and confirm if my guess was right as I saw it from afar. And then yeah, I was correct.

"....."

Nostalgia came to me as I watched its figure silently. Again, I was reminded of my late and dearest mother. Thereafter, I suddenly realized one fact.

Come to think of it... I haven't set my feet inside 'that room' yet in this timeline.

Thinking it back now made me want to enter it this moment-

The room where the true young lady of Shevaria once slept in.

For some reason, the urge to come inside that room arose in me now that the image of my mother flashed into my mind.

The big portrait of my supposedly-twin sister should still be hanged and taken with the utmost care in that place. This could be a good opportunity to sneakily enter it as well, while the Duke's out of the mansion for the moment. Furthermore, this could be my last chance to go without my awareness too.

Now... Let's go there, shall we? I decided, feeling a bit scared of what I was about to do.

I quickly yet silently went to open the door of my room and found Aiden noticing my presence.

"Are you about to-"

"There's no need to follow me, this time around.", I said before he could even finish his sentence.

"Instead, can you tell anyone that comes by that I don't want them to disturb my rest, as an excuse?"

"Of course, I can. But, where..."

"I'll be right back soon, so don't worry.", I answered, keeping the place that I wished to go as a secret.

With that, I left the place and took a route where I rarely ran into a servant.

And lucky enough, I safely made it in front of the destination with less than four people crossing paths with me in different hallways.

"Good thing the mansion's spacious.", I whispered.

There was not a single soul to be seen around the area close to the room. If I remember correctly, the maids were ordered to keep things neat and clean inside despite having its owner in the afterlife.

No matter how I look at it, the difference of our treatment was too much. Even though... I also had the Duke's blood running on my veins, in actuality.

Even if I thought it through once more, it was quite doubtful that things would change by now. I stopped assuming pointlessly, knowing that it'd just make the events become more complicated.

Letting loose of my clenched fists, I gently opened the door and made my way inside the place. And as I shut it so someone wouldn't notice my intrusion inside, only one object stood out in my eyes.

And that is no other than the painting of Sherryl Faire von Shevaria, itself.

"Hah...", I feigned my laughter, seeing how identical we looked like.

Now that I've seen her profile once more, her appearance was rewritten into something much clearer in my memories

"It's a pleasure to meet you again, Sherryl."

It could've been normal to think that sisters would have disputes based on different situations. And my envy toward Sherryl was nothing but an example of it.

Frankly, she shouldn't be blamed, for she didn't know anything about the occurrences or situations among the family, behind the scenes.

Let's say she was fortunate to have lived a life like a fairytale. But even then, there came a mishap in her life from the point where her death has been decided.

If this goes according to a typical marchen, a character like me would literally say, "I'm glad she died.", right in this setting. Because staying in that orphanage couldn't have led me to a better life than what I had right now.

But can I really call this life of mine a 'better life'? What a joke.

In fact, nothing good happened to me ever since I entered the noble society. Whether it may be my life at the Shevarias, or even my first love. It was rather a tragedy.

"I wish you didn't die.", I uttered, looking at the girl in the painting.

Even if I didn't live a life of luxury, I could've managed to survive without having myself face those drastic days. If I got lucky, I could've even got adopted by a genuinely warm family.

But thinking such things this late wouldn't help me a single bit. In the end, I'm just right here, struggling so I could live happier than everyone else.

"......May you rest in peace, sister.", I murmured, paying my respects.

After that, I successfully went back to my room without anyone noticing where I came from, and with a sense of accomplishment.

I was thankful how Aiden didn't question further concerning the place that I have gone to once I arrived, taking my privacy into consideration. As such, I was able to have a rest without worries-

...Or so I thought, but another issue came to my mind soon enough.

'I just... realized that it's been a very long while since you shared the same table with us.'

The moment I remembered how lunchtime was coming around, I was reminded of Lucian's words before I could completely excuse myself from his sight.

Was he perhaps...?

It was either about sympathy or yearning. And there were two possible reasons for those.

One could be that he pitied me since he went through the same thing before. And the other was that he felt lonesome of the fact that no one would accompany him at the dining room this time around, seeing how the Duke and the Duchess have left the mansion.

To put it bluntly, it's obviously the second one though. Lucian wouldn't be kind enough to come up with the first one for my sake.

"...What should I do?"

It's not like he actually got to invite me to dine with him properly, so it was something worth pondering about. Nevertheless, I personally think that it'd be a bad idea to go, in many ways.

But still.....

"Eyyy!! You call yourself parenting?! Bring it on then!!!", I yelled, preventing my mind from being blown out by my hesitations.