Yes or no - Book 4 - S.E.

A Katy or a Gaga

"All right, big week, guys." Mr. Schue said as he walked into the choir room, causing all the kids to stop playing around and move toward the piano instead. "Come on. Gather round. I have here in my hand... Drumroll, please... A secret list of the show choirs that we will be in competition with at Nationals in six weeks."

"Yes!" Kitty cheered as everyone clapped long, excitedly.

"Okay, let's see what we've got." Mr. Schue announced as he pulled open the envelope. "We got the Rust-Belters from Pittsburgh, the Thunder Showcats from Gainesville and finally, from Fort Wayne, Throat Explosion.

"No!" Tina yelled out suddenly, causing Emily to jump a bit, alarmed. "Why, God?!"

"Hum, what? Throat Explosion?" Jake asked. "That's a joke, right?"

"Anything but." Blaine shook his head. "They're the new supergroup the Show Choir Underground's been buzzing about. Their budgets for costume, makeup, hair alone are astronomical. You guys have read that Malcolm Gladwell book Outliers, right? So, Gladwell says you can't possibly master anything unless you've spent 10,000 hours practicing it. So students can't even join Throat Explosion without proving they've logged in 10,000 hours of show choir rehearsal. They don't even go to class. They just perform, every minute of every day. They live their art. They know no boundaries. They're constantly pushing the envelope, living and performing on the edge. They're like mini Lady Gagas. "

"We're so screwed... They're not like Vocal Adrenaline, who were unfeeling Borg robots. They're total outsiders and misfits, which used to be our niche. We can't compete with Throat Explosion anymore at that level because we lost our biggest Gaga when Kurt graduated last year." Tina said. "Look around, we're a room full of, like, Katy Perrys now."

"Excuse me?" Emily scoffed as she turned to glare at Tina from her place on the piano.

"Oh, you best check your spectrum, Queen T, because Orange is the new Black, and Unique is the new Gaga." Unique agreed, quickly defending herself as well.

"Well, not Marley... She's a Katy Perry." Tina pointed out. "So is Sam, so is Blaine."

"I'm a Katy Perry and I'm proud of it." Blaine said.

"Hum, the truth is, Tina, we're a potent mix of Katy Perrys and Lady Gagas in here." Mr. Schue said. "But it's not a liability... It's the way we're gonna beat Throat Explosion."

"How?" Emily frowned, suddenly confused.

"Some of us in here are, you know, ambi-edge."

"Ambi-edge?" Artie bit back a laugh as Emily cringed at the term. "You just made that up."

"Hum, some of us are more, you know, wholesome, innocent, romantic, all-American-girl and boy-next-door types." The teacher continued, despite the interruption. "Who in here would describe themselves as a Gaga?"

Unsurprisingly, Kitty, Tina, Unique, Emily and Jake all raised their hands then. Mr. Schue nodded at them.

"Okay, great. And the rest of you are Katys?"

"Is there a third option?" Ryder asked, being promptly ignored by Mr. Schue as he walked toward the whiteboard to assign them their weekly lesson — once more, done pretty much on the fly.

"We're gonna mix it up a little bit." The teacher said. "We're turning our weaknesses into our strengths. This week, the Katys will get their Gaga on and the Gagas will bring the Katy. Throat Explosion does their one thing very, very well, but we need to be able to do both, impeccably, or else we're not gonna have a chance in hell of winning Nationals this year."

***

"This Katy/Gaga lesson is killing me." Sam told Emily with a sigh as the two of them sat in the bleachers, waiting for the cheer and football practice to start in about twenty minutes. "It's like Mr. Shue did it on purpose to keep us apart."