Inquiring Bliss

In Summary I Have No Plan.

           "Trust the timing of your life."
                               

                                  Monday

Defeated.

By definition, the word meant "Having been beaten in a battle or other contest." a losing battle that Oliver was all too familiar with.

Something about this whole situation just seemed...expected.

He should have known someone like Corey could never want to be with someone like him. Corey deserved someone better, stronger, prettier, and Raven may have been petty but he seemed to have a good heart.

Tough as nails on the outside but he protected the people he cared about.

Oliver couldn't even truly be mad at the pair.

He and Corey never said they were official, they never said they were exclusively dating. Oliver shouldn't be so upset, he just...couldn't help but feel this undeniable pain in his heart.

Being around Corey had finally lead to Oliver feeling good again. Talking to him, learning about the other man's interests, it felt good putting himself out there again.

He knew what happened with Raven wasn't Corey's fault. Maybe it hurt seeing the blonde kiss the Russian back but hell who wouldn't?

No, he wasn't mad at Corey.

Raven was the man Corey had told him about. His unrequited love that maybe wasn't as imaginative as the blonde thought. Corey had been crushing on his friend for years and didn't think he would ever get to have that love back.

How could Oliver tell him not to fight for that?

To tell him not to try and see if it works, Corey had spent so long thinking it couldn't be a possibility and here Raven was telling him it could.

It sucked, it hurt, and Oliver wanted to curl up into a ball but it made sense. Why Raven was so hot and cold, why he was so pushy. He was jealous and maybe it took seeing Corey with someone else to realize what was there.

Oliver just wished it would have happened before he started anything with Corey. He also wished they didn't look so fucking hot kissing against that wall.

Why did Corey and his friends have to be so pretty?

Oliver shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked further and further away from the apartment. He didn't want to go back to his apartment, he knew if he did he wouldn't just sink in his thoughts he would drown.

The thought of calling James crossed his mind but he wasn't sure if he was ready for that. If he wanted to explain the situation to his redheaded friend. She had a temper and Oliver didn't want to release it, he also didn't want to see the red head's pitying glance.

He knew he wasn't a great dating option. He wasn't that great to look at, he wasn't that awesome to talk with he was insecure and fumbled to say the right thing.

Once upon a time, he was a little more confident. A little more self-assured.

That felt like eons ago.

He spent so much time picking himself up to become that person only to be torn down again.

It was so much easier when he could starve himself and down a bottle of vodka. At least then his mind would become blurry so his thoughts weren't as loud. They were washed away for a moment.