gerald looked at me weird, so i punched every mother fudger in that office, right in the balls. even the girls, they keep their balls somewhere, i know where. i took my chromebook and yeeted it out of the window. the only dude who wasnt wimpering in pain because their balls hurt was bob, he stayed safe in customer service, ew. he said to me, "ayo jake, you think you havin a mental breakdown or sometin?" i cant put up with bob and his customer service bullcrap. i drop kicked bob out of the window, and i yelled "YEET" bob went flying, and splatted on the ground. i swear to me, jake from state farm, since i am my own god, these customer service silly gooses are immortal. its okay, i have my jake from state farm name branded elephant locked in the basement, so i will yeet that out at him. yes, the elephant is trademarked, jeez. anyways, i drop kicked the elephant that just randomly appered next to me and it just convieniently landed right on top of bob. haha.
goodbye bob
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Jake From State Farm: a fanfiction
FanficThis is a story about jake from state farm and his traumatizing life. jk i wrote this to piss off the dude who was my bf at the time its a year later im single and in love with a dilf who isnt actually a father but same thing
