okay so i walked downstairs but everybody is so intimidated by me they told me i should take the elevator because im so sexy. i mean i am, but whatever, i have to call back my stupid wife. i picked up the phone, i rolled my eyes, and i played it cool, "HELLO MY SEGGSY WIFE, WHAT DO YOU NEED THIS TIME?!?!" i think i played it pretty cool. she has the audacity to say, "jake the mcdonalds broskis told me to wear a mask, but i dont want to." UGHHHHHHHH!! THIS BITCH!!! WHY HAVEN'T I DIVORCED HER YET?!?! i was gonna just respond with a tHaT sOuNdS gReAt HuNnY bOo, I lOvE yOu BaBy GoRl, but i went off like the bad bleep i am, after all, im jake from state farm, "HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT ME?! FOR I AM JAKE, FROM STATE OF THE FARMS!! YOU SHALL NOT DISGRACE ME!! WE'RE GETTING A DIVORCE, KaReNnNnNnN" and i slammed the phone down before even hanging up! im such a savage.
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Jake From State Farm: a fanfiction
FanfictionThis is a story about jake from state farm and his traumatizing life. jk i wrote this to piss off the dude who was my bf at the time its a year later im single and in love with a dilf who isnt actually a father but same thing
