The mischievous one...(Loki and Fem!Reader)

Part 19 - Poor thing...

As Destiny looked at Loki closer, she saw his pain and his tear stained face. She did that. And she felt bad for it. She went to Loki and hugged him, face to his chest. At first he was shocked, but then slowly hugged her back.

"I am sorry that you thought, that I hurt you. I just wanted them to see from the Asgardian people's view. I didn't mean to hurt you. I thought you don't care about their opinion about you. In my eyes you are awesome just the way you are.", Destiny mumbled into his chest.

Loki looked at Thor and he looked at her amazed.

"It is okay. I am not hurt nor mad at you. I understand.", Loki said softly.

"Why are you lying ? You were and still are hurt from what I had just said. Maybe you are not mad at me, but you are hurt. You are broken. You are...not yourself.", Destiny said.

Loki looked at the others, who looked at him and Destiny with big eyes. Even Thor.

"You are confused and all over the place. You don't know, what you should think, what to do. You feel cornered. You feel trapped. You are sad. You have a huge lack of love. You still want to be accepted by Odin. Your golden, innocent heart got tainted with betrayal, torture and horrors, you were never supposed to see and false hopes. You wish to be loved, to be seen and heard. You wish to be happy too. You are falling...and no one can catch you. That is at least what you think. Your greatest fear is to be alone and hated your whole life."

Loki flinched and stepped back from her. Scared that she could read him so easily. He stared at Destiny in shock and fear. Destiny just looked into space, not noticing the odd stares.

"I know how that feels like...being confused and scared. Standing all alone on a huge battlefield and fighting all alone your inner demons. Everyone just pulling you even more down with their problems against you...Making your life miserable and...painful.... Not knowing what to do anymore. Losing yourself and acting cold and distant....I did nothing else than that my entire life as a kid...."

Everyone looked at Destiny in surprise and shock. Loki the most.

"Then how did you change into a funny and grown up girl ?", Loki asked softly, to not snap her out of her own world.

She smiled distantly.

"I read books about pretending. I learned to control my anger more. And then I found the Norse Book in the Library. The very first one. As I opened it, I instinctly found the page of Loki, God of Mischief and Lies. I...guess I took care that I at least be a little like him. I didn't want to be so...strict everytime. And Loki was the perfect character for me. He was serious, but also had a funny side. I liked him since I started to read about him.... I...I felt better as I read about him. So I started to change and be funny. Daniela approved of it greatly. So, I decided to be mischievous too and here we are now. Me being happy, funny but also very snappy and aggressive."

Loki looked at the spaced out Destiny in awe. That touched him. That touched him deep in his soul. Then Destiny frowned.

"I like that Norse God, but I was totally flabbergasted as I read about Loki's serpent punishment..."

Loki frowned at that. He forgot about that... Everyone looked at Loki in confusion.

'I will explain later', Loki mouthed to them.

He turned back to Destiny.

"Do you know, with who you are talking to ?", Loki asked.

Destiny smiled a sad smile.

"Sadly yes. Like always....I talk with myself....Like I always do when I have a crash of negative emotions. It always happens. My thoughts aren't my own anymore and they talk all at once...", she said in a distant voice.

Now everyone looked at Destiny worried. Loki the most.

"What are your thoughts right now all saying ?", Loki asked.

Destiny frowned.

"Many things...They ask me questions, demand from me to change again...They tell me that no one still accepts me, the way I am now. Not even Daniela. That she was sick of me...That I shall just turn into that, what my parents and the 9 Realms wanted me to be anyway..."

She sobbed. Tears flowed out of her eyes. Loki went down too and looked at her with pity.

"And that is ?", Loki asked careful.

"A Monster. A weapon no one would be able to kill and stop... I am scared. They say I can't escape them forever...I shall give in sooner rather than later...erase myself...It hurts...All these voices in my head, yelling at me, the volume...it hurts...", Destiny whimpered.

Loki's eyes went wide and he stared at the others in panic. They all looked at her in horror and sympathy.

"I don't want to change again ! It hurts ! It splits you open and makes you feel empty with every single more try ! It rips you apart ! It hurts so much !"

Loki had heard enough. He pulled her into a hug and she snapped out of her thoughts in shock. Loki shushed her and held her tightly. She cried into his shoulder for maybe 10 seconds, then she suddenly stopped and pulled away quickly. She stood up and brushed her jeans off of the dirt.

"I am not weak.", Destiny whispered.

Loki looked at her in question.

"I do not need hugs or sentiment. Not my nature. This shit died a long time ago with the old useless bitch of the former Destiny Andrea Aki Dust. She is dead. No one wanted that bitch of the past anyway. She just did everything wrong.", Destiny said in a monotone.

"Who told you that ?", Nat asked now.

She looked at Nat with an empty look. No sparkle and her eyes didn't had the colorful gleam anymore, just gloom.

"Told ? No one told her that. Her parents showed her, with abuse. She did something to safe her sister and herself and it was always wrong. Since then...the old Destiny is dead. There is no point of return for her. She will stay in her grave. THEY killed her. They made me do it."

Loki knew what she meant. He did the same...All the time...