beautiful boy . ⎯ benny r.

HOPELESSY DEVOTED

March 1995
AMELIA
My grades were going down and I lost motivation for everything. I stopped taking care of myself, I barely showered and all I would wear would be the same two hoodies and jeans. Connie, Julie, and Maya had noticed how bad I was too.
"Hey, Amelia?"-Connie
We were at lunch as we sat in a circular table with my friends, my friend group consisted of the sandlot boys and these hockey kids, surprisingly the table fitted 17 kids. They all began to despise Jaxon, but he didn't really care about the trash talk. The only people I knew here was the girls and the sandlot boys, I had no idea who the rest kids in my lunch table were. I sat in between Connie and Julie, Maya sat next to Connie.
"Yeah?" I say playing with my food, not looking at Connie. She stopped moving my fork, I lifted my head to look at her, she looked worried.
"We are really concerned." She said, Maya and Julie nodded.
"I'm fine." I wasn't used to people showing affection for me ever sense me and Benny "broke up".
"Look at yourself."-Julie
Me and Benny made eye contact. He then snapped after a few seconds. We still got along well, but when we weren't talking, for example during lunch, sense he has a bunch of friends here, he would be really quiet. The girls noticed that we were staring at each other.
"Oh come on, you're still stuck on him?" Connie whispered.
"They were endgame, you should've seen them." Maya then added.
"But...You guys are still friends on good conditions, and remember when you told us he said you guys are soulmates?" What Julie had said convinced me to stop acting so depressed.
"Yeah, you're right."-Me
The boys were talking about... Ducks?
"Let us help you." Connie was so comforting.
"Let's turn you into a baddie." Maya said sarcastically  making me and the girls laugh. I'm proud that I have such a great support system. Finally after a month of sadness, someone is there for me. But I still won't get over Benny, unless I distract myself with a new hobby.

The weekend....
Maya and the girls came to my place so they can help me look better. Maya had chosen a few outfits
for the week, they were different than what I would wear usually, some showed more skin. She even hyped me up and told me things to lift up my confidence, and they did work a bit. I started to try new hairstyles on myself instead of having my hair down all the time. Connie gave me some perfumes and jewelry she didn't want anymore, Julie would give me skin care products that will help with my skin, sense her skin is crystal clear. Oh gosh, these girls are the best. I even quit the antidepressants, it was hard, but I always told myself that things will get better. But whenever I think about Benny, my head is saying "Forget him." and my heart is saying "Don't let go" This is so confusing! I'm hopelessly devoted to him. Like from the movie Grease. (Author: My fave song atm so I just wanted to include it lol)
When the weekend ended, I went back to school feeling more better about myself. Mayas outfits, Connies jewels and perfumes, and Julies skincare products, helped me a lot.

My chest and butt have been getting bigger, puberty probably. I wore a red form fitting v-neck long sleeve shirt and mom jeans with gold necklaces. I rarely wore jewelry or any color that wasn't black, I felt like a whole different person. As I walked to the lunch table the girls and Benny's attention went straight to me. This other kid that goes by the name of Charlie who was sitting next to Benny, couldn't take his eyes off of me.

BENNY
"Wow..." Amelia looked so...different and confident, and all of that happened this weekend....how? I now regret not being her boyfriend cause I won't be able to kiss her anymore or stare at her the way I used to. She was at her lowest point these two months. It was probably my fault, but it was best for us, mostly for me. I don't want to sound selfish at all. Me and Charlie exchanged looks. He seemed interested in her, the jealousy began to kick in. I was interested in knowing what he thought about her. So, I leaned closer to him, whispering I say, "Nice body huh." I don't know why I said that, this wasn't me.
He looked at me grossed out and began chuckling, "Dude, you're a creep. She's beautiful, how did I not notice her before."
Wow, his mentality is way different than mine. I did feel like a creep. I don't know what happened to me.
"Well, she's my ex." The jealousy was kicking in harder this time.
"You were lucky." He says then returns to his conversation with his friends.

AMELIA
"Woah, Amelia. We definitely did a good job." Connie had a proud look on her face, she liked seeing me more confident.
"You did." I say back as I sat down next to Maya.
"Hey, I think Charlie has the hots for you. He was staring at you when you walked over here." Julie says wiggling her eyebrows. I turn to look at the kid, he was talking to his friends but kept glancing at me. It felt wrong, only Benny, that's it.
"Guys... You know I still like Benny." Every time we talked about boys we whispered.
They all groaned in annoyance.
"Give her time guys." It seemed that Maya didn't agree with focusing on boys who weren't Benny like the other girls. That Charlie kid doesn't even catch my attention. My eyes are still set on Benny.
                                   ••••
The mix with the sandlot and mighty ducks is kinda exciting for me ngl, it's gonna be messyyy. If you have any suggestions for the next chapters feel free to comment. (Anything that i put in bold is important)
Byeee:)
-Alice☁️