Torn (An Anakin x OC x Obi Wan Story)

nine

Without speaking, there wasn't much to do aboard the ship during their long journey. They were still hours, if not days away, from Canto Bight. Jaia continued to drift in and out of sleep, her mind drifting off into limbo here and again, even during the hours she lay awake.

Obi Wan was meditating. His neat, tan robes lay still on him as he sat up straight, his eyes closed and his face calm and focused. Jaia knew that meditating was indeed a good option right now during the silence, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She knew she wouldn't be able to successfully deal with all of her worries of Anakin's safety.

The boredom was driving her crazy, twiddling her thumbs being the only thing remotely interesting for Jaia to do.

Her mind wandered to the conversation she had held with Obi Wan, and how it had ended. I'm not going to explain it to you. The words echoed in her head madly, her heart pounding at just the thought of it. She didn't want to question what it meant, but the memory was eating her alive. The way he had looked at her - the way he had kissed her so gently- it was familiar to her. Comforting. Just like-

No. Jaia stopped her thoughts. Feeling defeated, she took a breath, glancing back to Obi Wan, who was still in deep meditation. He's not Anakin. It's just the trip- being in space for this long is driving you crazy. Though they seemed like sane explanations, Jaia still didn't feel better, her eyes seeming stuck to Obi Wan.

He had said he was risking his morals, risking the code. Jaia's heart fluttered at the thought of it, confused and aching with the shame she felt from even feeling confused. It should have been simple to cast the thoughts aside, and focus on the task at hand, but she couldn't seem to. Her temptations were leading her more than anything, her undeniable wanting taking over.

"I'm a terrible jedi," Jaia muttered to herself quietly, turning her chair physically away from the view of Obi Wan, in an attempt to free her mind of the addiction.

"No you're not," Obi Wan replied blandly, startling Jaia and causing her to yelp.

"Jesus, I thought you were meditating?"

"I was," he replied, "You really are very gifted with distraction."

Jaia huffed, "You're gifted in boring the hell out of me."

"I didn't know I was supposed to be providing entertainment."

Jaia made an inaudible grumbling noise, her frustration at Obi Wan's cheek spiking her aggravation. She didn't want to be arguing with him. She didn't want anything right now except to continue what they had started before, to-

Jaia got to her feet, and strode over to Obi Wan's seat. He froze, his neck tensing at her movement. "What are you doing?" he asked, as Jaia found herself kneeling in front of Obi Wan, her knees to the floor.

She took his hand, and brought it to her cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin against her, comfort intoxicating her. Jaia didn't understand, but she didnt want to. Obi Wan didn't pull his hand away, but his eyes still looked shocked as he reiterated, this time in a slight whisper, "What are you doing?"

"Remember when we were in the cave," Jaia started, her hand still resting atop Obi Wan's, "And we both got delirious?"

"Yes," Obi Wan said, his eyes now locked on Jaia's, his lips parted slightly.

"What if this is just like that?" She knew it was ridiculous, knew that they were both undoubtedly in their right minds, unclouded, certain. Obi Wan also looked doubtful, his wide eyes under his furrowed brows searching her for sanity.

"You know it's nothing like that."

Jaia gulped. "I know, I know, I just-," she paused, trying to find words-, "Can we pretend it is?"