Ella ○ Harry Potter

Forty: The Black Grey Show

"Hey! And welcome to another show with your lovely hosts, Sirius Black--"

"That's me!"

"And Ella Grey!"

"That's her!"

"How drunk are they?" Remus asked, making Aberforth look up at him. He turned his head to the small cabinet in which he kept empty bottles.

"I think each of them finished a bottle of fire-whiskey."

"Why do you keep letting them?" Remus sighed, and Aberforth shrugged.

"I ain't ever said no to a paying costumer, and they're kind of funny." The two turned back to look at Sirius and Ella, who decided to make a new introduction.

"Okay, okay, now try what we said." Ella told him, and Sirius nodded with an air of self importance.

"Hello, I am formerly convicted murderer of thirteen and a current heart-throb, Sirius Black."

"And I am the self appointed queen of the wizarding world and mother of chimaeras, Ella Grey."

"And this is--" they said together slowly, looking at each other. "The Black Grey Show!"

"Where we talk about our farts and shower thoughts," Sirius smiled.

"Because it's our show, and not yours!"

"We are coming to you live, from the Hog's Head, and we have here with us the handsome and ever cheerful Aberforth!" Sirius clapped happily as he slurred, and Ella applauded along. "And the smartest, kindest, best ever, completely adorable and not at all-"

"REMUS LUPIN!" Ella clapped, stopping Sirius in the midst of his rant about Remus' positive attributes. "So today we have a very important matter to speak about, right Padfoot?"

"That's correct, Mini-Prongs," Sirius nodded, the two of them looking at the same direction.

"You know that there isn't a real camera in front of you, right?" Remus questioned, and the two simply turned to look at each other.

"Well, you know how creatures like dogs or cats, when they leave with humans they start understanding a few words here and there, right?" Sirius nodded, and Remus realized that the two aren't even listening to him. As though he was speaking with a television.

"Right, may I tell you, I am a dog."

"Right, you guys! My co-host is a brilliant boy, he's an animagus!" she clapped for him, nodding towards the imaginary camera. "Well, anyway, if you adopt a dog you'll come to realize he understand a few human words, correct? But I don't understand any bark, does it make them dogs smarter than me?"

"An ameba is smarter than you two!" Remus called at them, "look at you! You've got detention in fifteen minutes, and you're wasted, and you're an adult! And you're both acting like you have a television show!" 

Ella and Sirius exchanged a look, before they both turned back to the camera. "Well, that's all for today, watchers! Now, we'll see you again soon for our game night 'who wants to be a chocolate frog?', where the loser gets turned into a chocolate frog for an hour! See you!"

"Cut!" Sirius called, and then got his wand out and splashed water at Ella. "You need to run. You have detention with McGonagall."

"Oh dear lord."

"Yes, Ella," he nodded, drying her with a quick spell, and then resting his hands on her shoulders. "Be quick, be precise. Be safe. I believe in you, my sweet Mini-Prongs."

"Thank you Padfoot," she sighed deeply. "If I do not survive this, please know I've loved you enough to not eat your french fries."

"Be strong, my sweet friend," he told her as she stood up, nodding solemnly and then sprinting. Sirius took what remained in her glass and downed it, before turning to grin at Remus.