Ella ○ Harry Potter

Sixty: Alone Together is still Lonely

Sirius Black once thought his life were over.

More than once, actually.

The first time his father slapped his cheek. The first time he saw his baby brother taking their parents' side. The day his mother spat out that if there's some justice in this world, he would not receive his Hogwarts letter, and he almost believed it. 

The first time he saw evil. The time he almost got Snape killed by Moony. The first time he saw the dark mark over a house. The first time he saw the dark mark on his brother's arm.

When he was kicked out of his own home. The first time he faced a Death Eater. The moment he realized Wormtail had betrayed their friendship. The first time he breathed the air of the world without James Potter in it- only revenge got him up for long enough to keep breathing- but maybe it would have been better if he hadn't.

His life really were over when Wormtail tricked everyone. His life were over when he realized there would not be a trial, when he saw Dumbledore standing by and not say a word as he was falsely accused. 

His life were over so many times, and he always had something pick him up. Then, when there was a need to protect Harry and avenge, there was a new reason.

But now- as the Sorting Hat sang a grim song- he felt fixed, almost.

He had his godson, he had his two best friends, he had a job- at last- that could help someone else. He was a free man, and he was- could it be? Could he say it? His smile was too big to contain itself, and he knew it- it was.

"I'm happy," the words bubbled out as he smiled at Ella.

The girl raised her gaze to her best friend, and smiled wide. 

"No, you're Sirius."

"Fuck off Ella."

The two were sitting at the Pink Table, and they got some odd looks. There was a new professor at the Staff Table, a little thing Ella described as "Toad-woman with evil, evil eyes," and the two reckoned she would be the new Defense Against Dark Arts teacher, and Ella missed Remus dearly.

Of course, they requested his presence at the school again this year, but the Ministry would not agree, as so many students feared him. They did agree to grant him a long-distance position, and he was allowed of course to visit Hogwarts according to the lunar cycle, to ease the students' hearts.

Sirius asked him if he took the job last time because he wished to die, like many DADA teachers before him, and the silence he got as an answer was deafening. Ella asked him why he took the job offer now, and he replied with "why are you creating this place?"

Ella's eyes scanned the Great Hall as the sorting took place, and she never even knew who went where, as she hoped to find a familiar pair of brown eyes that she loved so much, and her heart skipped a beat when she realized she saw them for the last time already. 

"Ella?" Sirius recognized the slight shift, and she turned to him. 

These halls were theirs, they lived here, they breathed each other in this place. A place that was once so whole and perfect and a paradise-- it was now an empty space, and whatever there was in these halls was tragedy and pain.

She still loved him, how could she stop? 

She could pretend all she wanted she forgot his death, but he pushed her to create Dee-Talbott, he pushed her to do anything she ever did right- he was everything good in her world.

She, the daughter of the most treacherous human being- if he was even  human- had him as the sole pillar of light and joy and love- and he was taken away from her, without so much as a proper goodbye.