Ella ○ Harry Potter

Fifty Three: The Way It Feels

when people vote and comment on your story but no one is following you on snapchat

*sad face*

yall i always knew i'll never have friends but that's sad

maybe i should be one of those annoying people who say i'll update when there are something something vote and comments, but with Snapchat

imma try again @bratzreally cmon guys i swear i'm fun

((btw I think it's appropriate to point out again, though it is written on my profile, I am 22. I am a child at heart, but legally an adult so my heart breaks as I realize most of you probably aren't and this all just came off kinda weird.)

::

"Truth," Remus said. 

"Have you ever been in love with someone in this room?" Ella smirked, and Remus stared very evenly at her. She thought he would blush, or get upset, but he then smirked in return.

"Past tense? No." He spinned the bottle before Ella could say anything else, and her and Sirius exchanged a look as the bottle pointed to Sirius.

"Wait, past-tense no?" Sirius mumbled. 

"Sirius, I-"

"Truth or dare," Remus said before they could speculate. 

Sirius frowned, looking at Remus in interest. "Dare."

"I dare you to stop this game," he said simply, and Sirius looked in shock. He turned to Ella, who was taking a sip of the mixture of vodka and orange juice. "May I go to sleep now?"

"What, no!" Ella said hurriedly, "okay, we'll stop truth or dare, but come on! Go to sleep? In mere hours the Weasley family will be here, and the Order will be at full swing-- things won't be fun anymore."

"Ella, we need to talk," Remus rubbed his temples furiously. "You can't bury yourself in silence for a month and then drink to make up for the fact your mum was murdered by your dad--"

"He's not my dad," Ella cut him off, sounding sad. Sirius glanced at her, and suddenly silence fell on the room. The gramophone finished playing Jim Croce's record, and with the screeching silence they realized that until now there was no silence, but soft music. Sirius stood up, slightly wobbly, and started the record all over again (because both he and Remus loved that one song, A Long Time Ago).

When he sat back down, he once more felt a dawning in his stomach. 

Ella wasn't okay.

"I know you saw Yamac as a father figure, Ella, but--"

"No," she shook her head, sighing. "It's not like that. I--" she looked as though she was just tortured, pain written on her face. "I was with Harry and C-Ced, not because I didn't want Ced alone or something like that. Someone wanted me there," she raised her eyes to the two, her hand rushing to clutch Sirius' hand tightly. "I swear I never knew."

"Never knew what?" Sirius wondered softly, pulling her closer. 

She shook her, burying her head in his shoulder. "My father," she shakily said after what felt like years of silence. "My father wanted me there. He wanted me to get rid of the spare. Of Ced."

"Your father," Sirius said softly. "You told me your father was a death eater," he started, wanting to comfort her.

"No," she pulled back, looking at the two. "No, I thought that from what Malfoy said. I met him at the graveyard, my father's actually..."

The breathe Remus took in felt like it was a shot of neat vodka; burning and bitter and horrible.

"It's You-Know-Who. It's Voldemort himself."