The Quagmires

Chapter 7: The Haphazard Hut

Duncan and Isadora Quagmire weren't expecting much of the 'orphan shack', however, they did not expect their shack to be full of crabs and dripping fungus.

"Our shack is dripping fungus!" exclaimed Isadora when Duncan opened the shack door. 

"It has crabs too," said Duncan sorrowfully. Unfortunately, Duncan and Isadora weren't joking. Not only did their shack drip fungus and house crabs, it also had hay for beds, and it was awfully small.

"How will we get rid of the crabs?" asked Isadora.

"I don't know," said Duncan. "Wait a second," he stated abruptly, "Maybe I can find something about crabs that can help us in my commonplace book." Duncan flipped through the pages of his commonplace book, until he finally read 'crabs'. "Here," he declared, "Crabs are afraid of loud noises."

"So you're suggesting we either scream or throw something every time we enter this shack?" asked Isadora sarcastically. 

"Seriously sister?" replied Duncan, "For real though, do you have any ideas?" Isadora and Duncan were silent for a while, until tapping sounds interrupted their trail of thoughts.

"Hey cake-sniffers, how are you liking the orphan shack," said a girl maliciously.

"Go away, Carmelita," replied Duncan. Instead of listening to Duncan, Carmelita began tap dancing and singing songs with no poetic form whatsoever. Her annoying 'talents', however, gave Isadora the greatest idea. 

"Look at her shoes, Duncan," she whispered. "You said crabs are afraid of loud noises. Maybe we can create tap dancing shoes using metal scraps." Duncan was impressed, and he showed so by smiling appreciatively at his sister.

"What are cake-sniffers like you whispering about," blabbered Carmelita.

"Don't you have something better to do," said Duncan cleverly, "You know, as a none cake-sniffer."

"Of course I do," murmured Carmelita, and she finally walked away.

"Where are we going to find metal scraps?" asked Duncan.

"I don't know, but we'll figure it out. For now, though, do you want to go to the library?"

"Who wouldn't?"

"I know just the person."  

"Carmelita Spats," they chuckled in unison.

The two triplets then headed to the library, which Carmelita barely stopped by during the school tour. 

When the Quagmires arrived at the library, they learnt from a very nice librarian that the library is only permitted to be open for 10 minutes. They barely got to look around before it was time to lock the library's massive doors.

"I'll see you twins soon," said the librarian as Duncan and Isadora left the library. Any person who would've passed by the two children would've seen their sad and exasperated expressions.

"We're not twins," said Duncan.

"We're triplets," explained Isadora, "Our brother Quigley died in a fire."

"I'm very sorry, children," admitted the librarian with a look of sadness and shock on her face, "I didn't mean to offend you."

"We know," assured Duncan. The librarian smiled at them sympathetically and the two triplets headed to their shack. They had a long and boring first day. They had to survive several dirty looks from the students at Prufrock Preparatory school. The school day wasn't so bad, though, because they ended up finding metal scraps and creating their own loud, tap dancing shoes. 

The following day, Duncan and Isadora woke up to the dreaded voice of Carmelita Spats.

 She cleared her throat and began to sing

"Vice principal Nero wants to see you

So he has sent me here to inform you

That you have to go to his office now

And my name is Carmelita!'

"You know that doesn't rhyme," Isadora criticized.

"Who cares about poetic form?!" she yelled as stomped away.

The triplets sat up straight and realized that the crabs were back. They were too tired to make loud noises with their shoes, so they decided they would ignore the crabs. Luckily, they had gotten rid of some of the fungus by scraping it off the ceiling, which they found very sickening.

"What do you think he wants?" asked Isadora as she put on her shoes. She was already dressed because neither Duncan nor Isadora got changed last night. 

"I don't know, Isadora," replied her brother, "But I'm not expecting much."

The orphans walked exhaustedly towards vice principal Nero's office, hoping deeply that he won't be playing on his tarnished violin. When they finally reached his office, they realized that he was preoccupied with his violin. Unfortunately, Carmelita Spats approached them.

"The genius is practicing, I don't think you want to interrupt him."

"Maybe she's right," whispered Duncan to Isadora.

"Of course I'm right," stated a smiling Carmelita and she tap danced away.

The two triplets sat on the bench they sat on the day before and waited for an interminably long time. They soon sensed the presence of someone else sitting on the other side of the bench, which was back to back with their side of the bench, but didn't bother to turn around and take a look.