ℝ𝕌ℕℕ𝔼ℝ: 𝔸 ℕ𝕖𝕨𝕥 𝔽𝕒𝕟𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟

𝟐𝟏. 𝐎𝐥𝐝 𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟑

WARNING THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SELF HARM AND ATTEMPTED SUICIDE. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THAT IS A TRIGGER FOR YOU.

I'm in a small room. I look at my surroundings and I seem to be in a supply closet of sorts.My eyes become blurry with tears as I slice open my skin with the small piece of metal. All that is going through my head is how things would be better without me. I hurt my friends, betrayed them even. I never meant to, I mean how was I supposed to know that I wasn't going to be sent into the maze with everyone else? I suddenly hear banging on the door and his voice shouting at me to open the door. He says that he's worried and that I need to come out. He says that he's sorry for believing that I had a choice in what happened. I unlock the doo but don't make it seem like I have. Eventually he'll figure out that it's unlocked and that he can open it. By that time though it will hopefully be too late. I quietly sob out that I'm sorry and that I love him as the world darkens.

I wake up in a hospital bed, an IV attached to me as I notice stitches on my arms. I get a sick feeling in my stomach as I realize what happened. I look beside me and see Newt sleeping beside me. I'm honestly surprised that he is there after what I've put him through. I don't quite understand why he is even there. I mean he must've figured out that the door was unlocked and found me in there soon after I blacked out, but I genuinely don't understand why he's still here. I was working with WCKD, I had been unintentionally a part of him being sent into the maze in a month. Why did he still care? For all it's worth I was ruining his chances of ever having a normal life. I focus on his face. I can see long dried tear stains on his face as he sleeps with a pained expression on his face. Why could I have ever thought that me trying to do that would make things better for him? I can clearly see that he's only gotten worse. He looks like he hasn't eaten in at least a few days, his face looks more thin than it normally does. He shifts as he slowly wakes up before his eyes lock onto mine. He breaks out crying saying that he was sorry and that he was scared that he had lost me but I tell him that it was my fault. I shouldn't have put him through that after all. Newt lets the doctors know that I'm awake and they tell him to leave so they can run some tests but that he can come back later. They poke and prod me until I am left feeling more exhausted than ever. My only wish being that I hadn't done any of that in the first place.