ℝ𝕌ℕℕ𝔼ℝ: 𝔸 ℕ𝕖𝕨𝕥 𝔽𝕒𝕟𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟

𝟑𝟐. 𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐅𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧

WARNING (ALSO YES I KNOW ALOT OF THESE CHAPTERS HAVE WARNINGS, I JUST WANT TO PLAY THINGS SAFE BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TRIGGERS PEOPLE) MENTIONS THE DEATH OF A CLOSE FAMILY MEMBER IN THE FIRST CHUNK OF THIS CHAPTER. AS WELL AS MENTIONS OF SELF HARM IN THE 4TH CHUNK OF THIS CHAPTER PLEASE IF THOSE THINGS UPSET YOU PLEASE SKIP THOSE PARTS OR THIS CHAPTER AS A WHOLE IF NEED BE.

ALSO just a heads up I'm only doing important parts of Casey's past that haven't been covered in previous chapters to save me from writing it all over again.

I'm little. Really  little. My dad's screaming like a crazy person. No not like one, he IS one. My mom's ushering me and my brother into a closet to protect us from him. My mom says under her breath that she should have known. She couldn't have, he seemed so normal for the longest time. He just suddenly looked not okay and got angry. My mom closes the door before telling us to not come out until she opens the door. We nod and she fully closes it leaving us in complete darkness. I start to get scared as I hear a bunch of thuds and my brother hugs me trying to simultaneously calm the both of us down. Suddenly we hear a huge bang and we both shudder. I know the sound all too well. I heard it when crazy people tried to get into our house. My dad caused those noises before though. That's probably how he got like that in the first place. My brother and I hear a bunch of footsteps and a couple thuds, someone mutters under their breath but I don't know if it's my mom or my dad. Although I loved my dad dearly he's gone now. Even if he was the one who pulled the trigger. He was gone as soon as he woke up this morning. I guess he didn't really wake up though. The crazy thing woke up in the place of my dad. We hear more shuffling and the back door opening and closing, silence and then the door opening and closing again.  Then the closet door opens. It's my mom and she's crying. I rush into her arms and my brother does the same. She says that we should bury my dad so we follow her to the backyard. Luckily none of the crazy people have been able to get into our backyard. When things started to get bad my dad made sure to make the fence a lot taller and stronger. My mom finds a shovel and begins to dig a hole to put my dad in. Finally she digs a hole big enough for him and we help her as much as we can to put him in the hole. After we stand there for s bit, both my brother and I hugging my mom. She's keeping it together as much as possible but I look up to see that she's crying a bit, we all are but seeing her cry makes me cry even more. We finally pull away and my mom grabs the shovel again. She covers my dad up and gently pats the dirt to keep the wind from blowing it away. 

I'm older, not a whole lot but probably 4 years older at least. My brother and I are in a room talking. He's angry about something. "I refuse to go by Thomas. My name's the only thing that I have left from before WCKD and I'm not letting them take that away from me like they have with everything else. My name is Stephen and it always will be Stephen. I'm not Thomas, I'm Stephen." I try to calm him down to the best of my ability. "You still have me, don't you? WCKD didn't take me away from you. I'm still here and I'm still your sister." "Yeah but they're manipulating you to be more like them. I mean do you even go by your old name anymore Lu? Or have you already taken the new name they gave you?" He gets angrier. "It's just a name Stevie, is all of this hassle worth it over a name? You're still Stevie deep down to me and you're still Stephen to yourself, who cares if everyone else calls you Thomas?"  That seems to calm him down somewhat. He takes a deep breath before speaking again. "You don't get it Lu. You just don't get it." He shakes his head before walking out of the room we're in. I sit on the ground to think everything over. Was it really that important to remember my old name like my brother viewed it? I stand up and decide to go back to my room.

I'm much older now. From how I look in the mirror I'd say I'm around 6 years older. I make sure that I look half decent before sneaking out of my room and around the hallway. I continue walking down hallways, it's lights out now so the only way I'm able to see if from the small flashlight I carry. I reach a supply closet, hoping that it's the right one and pull the handle opening the door. Newt wanted to talk to me about something alone which I found a little odd but I have a crush on him so I decided that I would agree to meet up with him. I step into the closet and am immediately hit by something very solid. I hear an "oof" before realizing I found the right closet. I close the door behind me and laugh quietly. "So since I'm assuming no one else randomly hides in supply closets in the middle of the night, what did you want to talk about Newt?"  I feel him shift around a bit due to how small the space is before he talks "I've tried numerous times to figure out how to word this right so I may as well just outright say it. I like you a lot Casey. I have for a while, as a more than friends way so I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend?" His voice falters a bit on the last word. I laugh softly before replying "Of course I would, in all honesty I've liked you for a while now too Newt." He lets out a sigh of relief "Well that's a bloody relief, all day I was trying to work up the courage to ask you." We both share another laugh before his hands find mine. I decide to try and kiss his cheek but due to the height difference and lack of light I miss and end up awkwardly kissing in between his cheekbone and his ear. We both laugh out of the awkwardness of the situation before instantly quieting realizing that we could easily be caught if we were too loud and accidentally woke someone up. I speak quieter this time "We should probably both go to bed so neither of us get caught Newt."  He replies by fumbling around for the door handle and opening it for the both of us to get out. Once we're out there's enough light from the windows to be able to somewhat see each other but for others to not notice us right away if they were to come into the hallway. Newt wraps one of his arms around my waist before using the other one to tilt my chin up to face him. He bends down slightly and kisses my lips for a sweet and gentle kiss before pulling away and whispering to me "goodnight love, I'll see you tomorrow" I reply back "Goodnight, be careful getting back to the dorms, I'll see you first thing in the morning" He chuckles a bit before pulling out of the embrace and turns to walk away, I whisper a final goodnight to him before turning to walk in the other direction back to my room. I lightly touch my fingertips to my lips as they curl into a soft smile realizing that I just had my first kiss with the boy I was in love with who felt the same way as me. I get back to my room and fall asleep with happy thoughts flowing through my mind.