I went through the sugery with two major drugs. Love and Hope. If I let go... everything will change. But now I am through. Pain shoots up and down my body. My family (and Kerrie whom is my 2nd family) but no Alex. I can't move anything... At all. They have to feed me and help me go to the bathroom. It is so depressing. Kerrie is staying one more night and heading to Mayfield University for the drama class. I can move the top half of my body in three days. So I am really excited for that. But other wise I am a dolly till then.
4 weeks later
I can feel my whole body and now am in tense training of learning to walk. Again but all I can think about is Alex. Every two minutes I look at my phone. I click on Alex's Contact. No Text messages. He has probably hooked up with some other blonde chick with blue eyes. AHHH!!!! I look on instagram... I click on his profile. Nope. No Chicks photo?!! I scroll through
KerrieGreene took her first Class.... Good on her
CJ is at the beach with Libby... unusual
Alyssa is with Cameron.... Barf
Alex.....Has no updates since a month ago?
I throw my phone on the bed. No tracks of his existence. Damn it. I start crying. Suddenly every nurse runs in "I am fine. Just emotional" I say. Wish I was fine. But I am not. So what today I have training.
1 week later.
I can finally walk again and will be let out next week. But I am not excited... Until I see his face. One more time. Every thought was about him. Every step I took was dedicated to him. Every thought belongs to him. I was now his. I am not able to go to university till next year!!!! Sucks. Hard. It kills me inside and out who I dragged down. My phone is my is the only cure at the moment. But now it is my killer. My eyes grow wide. My heart stops beating. My phone shows me the truth. I wasn't wrong Alex is with a Blonde girl. "Hanging with this Blondie" he comments. I start crying my heart is gone. Sometimes I want to let go. I want to fall hard.
