Tough - Tup

Time can't heal this

After several months at the academy, Taz had settled in and had made a strong friendship with Up. They knew pretty much everything about each other and trusted each other with their lives. In just two months, Taz would be 16. The one thing Taz hadn't told Up was when her birthday was. She hated having a birthday. It was just a reminder of her past. Even though her Mother was sick, she still always made sure Taz had a nice birthday. They would make a cake together and read her stories. It wasn't much but it was only good memories of her mother. She would talk about throwing Taz a big Quincenera when she finally turned 15 but they never made it that far. Taz stayed locked in the house on her own reading all day on her 15th birthday. She desperately tried to forget about it and pretend she didn't know it was the day. Soon enough it would be her 16th. The day all American girls look forward too. Although Taz was Mexican, she still got a little feeling of excitment which was soon replaced by sickness. She would be aloud to drink at the academy at least. Maybe that's how she should spend her birthday. Completely out of it. Then maybe she would forget. A secret hidden part of her wanted her mother to came back and be with her. Make her wear a pretty dress and dance around with her extended family. But the other part wanted to shut out any and all emotions she felt. Like a robot. At least robots don't have to feel pain. Taz wanted to tell Up everything but she was letting her guard down more and more around him. Even back with her amigos she didn't tell them what actually happened with her familia. She made excuses. But Up was different, he was older and more mature and although he was a tough hijo de pita, he could be deep. He could hold a serious conversation but not be all soppy afterwards. However, Taz refused to speak of what was on her mind this time. She would strive through it and Up wouldn't even notice.

Up was looking for Taz, it was Saturday night and they always had movie marathons on Saturday. She wasn't in his room or hers. He checked in the gym as she would often be there working out or doing extra combat training to avoid calculas homework but she wasn't there either. Up wondered around the building for a good 20 minutes before deciding she wasn't anywhere inside the academy. He found the nearest exit to the building and picked up his pace as he strided around the outdoor grounds. He passed a few corners and heard something that sounded like paper rustling. He walked by some big trees and found Taz sitting on the highest sturdy branch of a large oak tree over the stream that ran through the grounds. She was sat with a book in her hand and slightly tear stained cheeks. He had only ever seen Taz cry once about 5 months ago on one of her first days at the academy. Up remembered every moment. He climbed up the tree and found himself struggling. How the hell did Taz get up there but herself? And with a book in one hand? Although Up was pretty sure anyone would be able to hear his shoes scratching down the tree and stamping on the branches, Taz stayed oblivious to everything. Up finally reached a branch in the other side of the tree at the same level as she was on. He looked down and silently winced - it was a dead god damn long way down.  He heard Taz sniff a little and saw her hand move up to her face. She was facing away from him but he guessed she was still crying. He knew it was time to speak.

"Hey." She screamed and nearly dropped her book and lost her balance. Up reached an arm around her to steady her.

"Qué pasa Up!?" She yelled.

"Its Saturday and your sad. That's what's the matter." Up replied calmly. Taz shook her head.

"Dat is not a reason to give me a heart attack!" She snapped then quickly turned away to put down her book and wipe the remaining tears away with her impossibly tiny hands.

"Yes it is. Its not healthy to be keeping things that hurt you to yourself." Taz began to get a little pissed off.

"Well add dat to de list of things dat aren't healthy about me den. First my weight, now dis - do you want to add anything else?" Up sighed and carefully climbed onto a branch closer to her so he could talk to her with ease.

"Im not saying this to upset you Taz. Believe it or not I actually care about you. Plus, the medic said that you had gained enough weight for your excersize programs months ago so that's off the list." Taz had kept her word and ate more as the doctor had told her too, she remembered how proud of her Up was when in reality it wasn't that big of a deal at all.

"Siento, Up. I'm just a little tightly wound." She explained. Up nodded.

"I know y'are Taz. I was looking for you and saw you crying up in the tree. Why don't you want to tell me about what's bothering you? We are best friends. You know that right?"

"Si Up. I know. You are my only and best friend but I tell you everything and I feel weak. You never cry to me about things. Never ever. I hate feeling like de...I don't know...like de girl. De damsel in damn destress."

"I don't care how you see it Taz. You have had some serious shit in your short life and sometimes, you gotta speak about it. Its like an hourglass. Even if you made one out of bricks and concrete, if you put too much sand in it, it will overflow. That's what is happening to you. So if you want too, you can tell me. Give me some sand Taz." He nudged her jokingly as she laughed a little.

"I'm going to be sixteen soon Up." Then it hit him. He had no clue when Taz's birthday was. Was it soon? Oh shit.

"How soon? Have you told me before? No you can't have, I would have remembered it or written in on the calendar."

"I have not told you. I don't like people knowing anymore. I'm so scared about what I'm going to feel dis year." Up tried to fit different pieces together and he just couldn't. He figured it would be something to do with her family or her mother at least.

"Do you want to tell me why?" She nodded.

"Why don't you then?"

"I don't know. Like I said, I guess I just thought I was being stupid or something."

"Well you're stupid for thinking that! You know that I won't judge you for anything you say Taz so please tell me. I didn't climb up this thing for nothing." He finished.

"Okay fine. My birthday is in two months exactly. I used love having my birthday. It was de one day of de year I looked forward too. Mama used to bake with me and read to me. You probably don't think dat's very special but to me, it was everything. Den she died and I had nothing to look forward to. I just got depressed and pretending de day wasn't any different to any other. Its so strange because when she was around, I was not who I am today. I wanted a big Quincenera with friends and family and de first dance with de man who I would marry. I wanted dat so bad. Part of me still does but den I remember dat I have no one." Up's heart broke some more for Taz. She was such a beautiful, strong girl. She deserved the party, the dress and even the dance with the man she would marry.

"You have me. And I'm not going leave you." Maybe her birthday wouldn't be so bad... Up still have 2 months until March 20 so there was just enough time to make it special for her.