Henry Stickmin Oneshots And More!

Hamilton

Just a little one shot about the Toppat Clan being obsessed with Hamilton and Right Hand Man wanting to murder them all because of it.

Right Hand Man is named Wright in this, just so you know. 

Not sure what to call this. Fluff? Nah. Angst? Nope. Whatever.

Hope y'all have an amazing day and/or night, and I'll catch y'all later!

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Wright sat at one of the tables in the lounge, holding a cup of coffee in his hands as he slowly descended into madness.

Just a normal Thursday afternoon.

Normally Wright could ignore the antics of his Clanmates. They were idiots, he knew. Absolute idiots. He could tolerate it for a while. Even the dull roar of conversation or the occasional fight in the lounge weren't much of a problem.

But now every time he saw any Toppat he was severely tempted to dropkick all of them.

Which dipshit introduced the Toppat Clan- a very music loving place due to Randy Radman's Party Era- to Hamilton, an American musical? As soon as Wright figured it out that person was going to be chucked off the airship balcony.

Plus the next person who referred to him as Alexander Hamilton because he was the Right Hand Man was getting either stabbed, shot or boiled alive depending what Wright felt was most painful.

Even James Thomas Madison, a literal descendent of James Madison, wasn't teased as much as Wright was. People occasionally called him Mad Hatter and jokingly told him to take some medicine, but that was it.

Apparently all of the idiots on board thought that since they now could rap about America that they could make fun of Wright with no repercussions.

Oh, there were going to be repercussions.

Wright nearly choked on his coffee as a Toppat randomly popped up next to him and yelled, "We are outgunned!"

"What!" Everyone in the room called in sync. Not gonna lie, Wright found it mildly impressive that they'd managed to memorize an entire musical in just under a few weeks.

Not that they weren't still idiots, though.

"Outmanned!" A second Toppat popped up next to the first.

"What!"

"Outnumbered, outplanned!" The first yelled.

"We've gotta make an all out stand!" A third Toppat joined in.

"Hey yo, I'm gonna need a Right Hand Man!" Everyone called in unison.

Not this again.

Of all of the Hamilton songs, Wright found this one the absolute worst. Just because he was the Right Hand Man did not mean he found it funny that literally everyone would start singing it whenever he tried to catch a break. He hated it.

Normally he would suffer through it until his break was over, but he was really not feeling it.

Not to mention these idiots were really, really getting on his nerves.

Wright slammed his coffee cup on the table so hard that it spilled. The singing stopped for once as he shoved his way through the dumbass Toppats angrily.

"The next person I hear singing Hamilton is getting punted across the airship," Wright muttered darkly. "I don't care who they are."

He walked for a while, enjoying the silence and lack of Hamilton. He made it to his and Reginald's living quarters and collapsed on the bed, startling his husband.

Reg, who had been reading on the bed, looked at him with surprise. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Everything," Wright said, his voice muffled by the mattress. "Your goddamn Toppats."

"What- oh, is this about Hamilton?" Reg asked, running a hand through Wright's hair absently.

"No, this is about my aunt Gertrude getting surgery- yes, this is about Hamilton!" Wright snapped. He felt bad about getting angry with Reg, but he was just so annoyed and overwhelmed by the nonstop singing and rapping- mostly shouting.

"Do you even have an aunt?" Reginald asked.

"No. I made her up." Wright groaned, flipping himself onto his back and covering his face with his arm. "I can't deal with all of the singing, Reggie. It's getting on my nerves. I swear I'm going to murder the person who decided it was a good idea to show Hamilton to the idiots you call Clanmates."

"Hmm." Reginald made a noncommittal sound in the back of his throat as he lifted up his book again. "I hope you don't decide to kill our son any time soon, but if it annoys you that much..."

"What?" Wright sat up. "Sven was the one who did this?"

"Well, him and Burt, but yes."

"Sven sings Hamilton?" Wright asked.

"You should really pay more attention, honey. He raps it all the time," Reg said. "It's one of his favorite pastimes."

Wright suddenly remembered all the times he'd heard Sven singing or rapping almost too fast to understand. He'd found it nice to listen to. Was that really the same songs he now hated?

"Maybe it's not terrible when Sven does it," Wright said stubbornly. "But I still hate it. Every time one of those dipshit Toppats sings- or worse, calls me Alexander- I feel the distinct urge to slam a table over their head until they learn some common sense."

"Is that- oh." Reginald's eyes widened. "Oh."

"Oh what? Any stunning revelations you'd like to share with the rest of us?" Wright waved a hand in front of his face.

"Righty, they think you enjoy it," Reg said.

"They what?"

"Well, you remember when Orange Hat Kid joined and everyone started doing all those dance moves?" Reg asked.

Wright growled softly, remembering that stupid phase. "Yes, I was severely tempted to hit quite a few Toppats then too."

"You also did hit quite a few of them," Reginald said. "And growled at them a lot. I think you actually bit one? Anyway, they could clearly tell you hated it, so they stopped."

"Yeah? And?"

"You haven't done any of that about this, Righty," Reg explained. "Sure, you glare a lot, but according to Sven that's just what they think your face looks like all the time? I dunno. ANyway, they think you either enjoy it or just don't care, so they do it around you."

"They're idiots," Wright growled.

"They're distracting themselves from all of the chaos that's happened lately," Reg corrected. "After Stickmin stole the ruby they don't know what's going to happen, so they're trying to forget about it. You don't have to like it, but at least give it a chance."

Wright hesitated, then nodded. "Fine," He said. "A chance."

Reginald smiled. 

"But the next person to call me Alexander is getting dropkicked," Wright added.