Make Me Bad |l.h|

8. my house

I step into the shower all sobered up, thinking back to the events that happened hours ago: Oli wanting me back, Michael getting jealous, and Luke being surprisingly friendly. Maybe he's just friendly when he's high.

My mind wanders off back to Oli. I can't believe he'd actually want to be with me after I told him to fuck off last tour. I laugh and whisper to myself, "I'm not yours anymore."

Haven't you heard, I'm not yours anymore. It's my house, and I think it's time to get out.

Words started pouring out of me, thinking of a new song.

I've had enough think you've been making me sick, gotta get you out of my system.

I quickly step out of the shower after washing off the last of the shampoo. I wrap myself in a towel and run out of the bathroom towards my bed.

"Kara, what the-" Luke starts to say but I cut him off telling him to shut up. I pull out my notebook where I write lyrics and instantly start jotting down what comes to mind.

I feel you in these walls, you're a cold air creeping in, chill me to my bones and skin.

"Never thought that I would feel like this, such a mess when I'm in your presence," I sing to myself, ignoring Luke's stare.

"Can I borrow your guitar for a minute?" I ask out loud, keeping my eyes glued on my notebook.

"Yeah," he says as he hands me his acoustic guitar.

I thank him and take a seat on the edge of my bed, crossing my right leg over my left one. I try my best to replicate the tune in my head on the guitar. I eventually get the hang of it and write down the chords.

I sigh in relief as I finish my new song, thanking Jesus I was quick enough to write down the lyrics before they vanished from my memory. I give Luke his guitar back and lay down on my bed, humming my new tune.

"So... you write songs?" Luke asks, making me realize he was here the entire time.

When I'm in the zone I am unaware of my surroundings; it's just me and my mind.

"Yeah," I laugh nervously. "I'll be back." I instantly get up to go change into my pajamas.

"What happened to Oli?" Luke asks as soon as I step out of the bathroom.

I think of some lame excuse, "Oh, he, uh, went with some groupies, you know." But it turns out to be the truth since I remember sending him off with some girls.

"I saw that, actually."

"Saw what?" I reply quickly before sitting down on my bed.

Luke looks at me suspiciously, "why do you get all weird when I ask questions about him?" He points out the immediate reaction I have every time the American Dream tour is brought up. Or the times the guys asked me about the parties and the girls during the same tour.

"That song's about him, huh?" His lips form into a smirk.

"You caught me," I jokingly raise my hands in surrender.

"Wait, you guys hooked up?" His eyes widen in disbelief.

"Yes, many times. Any more questions?" I roll my eyes. I knew one of them was bound to find out sooner or later.

"I'm guessing he wanted you back? You know, since one of your lyrics go 'haven't you heard, I'm not yours anymore.'" He recites the lyrics from memory. Woah.

"Yeah, he did, but I rejected him obviously."

"Because of Michael?"

"What about Michael?" I ask, keeping calm so I won't spill our secret.

"Aren't you guys like, you know, fuck buddies or something," he says casually.

"Who told you that?" I laugh way too loud, mentally slapping myself for giving myself away.

"It's pretty obvious. He's always staring at you and you two are almost always gone at the same time," he explains.

"Well shit. This is why I didn't want to talk about last tour. I don't want you to get the idea that I sleep around, it just kinda happens and I go along with it," I trail off.

"Well... Was it good? Who's better?" He smirks.

"God, you sound like my mom," I say in disgust, throwing a pillow at him.

"Why didn't you tell us?" He furrows his eyebrows.

"I guess I wanted you guys to have a good impression of me. I didn't want you guys to think that I'm a party animal or a whore, you know?" I laugh, thinking of Michael and the club and coming to the conclusion that I haven't changed at all.

"You're not the only one with a past. You think the guys and I are freakin' saints?" He shakes his head, "you do you, dollface."

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