Crazy, Beautiful Mistake. [ON HOLD INDEFINITELY]

Perfect Doesn't Last.

The drive to the hospital was terrifying. I couldn't stop crying and it didn't help that the pain was getting much worse.

"It hurts so much Jackson I can hardly catch my breath," I told him slowly. It was really hard to speak and breathe at the same time.

"I know babe we're almost there."

My mind is racing with thoughts of the baby. I just keep hoping that this is a pre term labor symptom that they'll be able to stop since my water hasn't broken yet. However, a voice in the back of my mind is telling me that's not what's wrong.

We finally made it to the hospital. Jackson quickly parked the car, got out and rushed over to help me out. He quickly led me into the hospital yelling for a nurse or doctor to help us. A nurse finally walked over to us to assess the situation.

"What's wrong?," she asked Jackson.

"We were at the movies she started to get severe abdominal pain and started gasping for breath," he informed her. "She said they're really painful she cried the whole way here."

"Let me get a wheelchair and then we'll find a room for her."

The nurse disappeared for a couple of minutes and came back with a wheelchair. I immediately sat down just trying to regulate my breathing which was easier said than done. The nurse walked towards the desk and motioned for us to follow. Jackson quickly did as he was told and rolled me over to the desk.

"How far along is she?," the nurse asked him.

He thought about it for a second and a look of guilt passed his face. I could tell he didn't know how far along I was because he hasn't been there for most of the pregnancy. The silence started to become awkward so I spoke up for him.

"I'm almost 6 months," I told the nurse.

A look of surprise crossed her face. I was really getting tired of that. Okay people I get it! I'm big considering how far along I am. I could do without the looks that keep reminding me.

"It's twins," I told her letting her know I caught the look on her face. She just continued what she was doing not even the slightest bit guilty. If I wasn't so worried right now I would've killed her many ways in my mind but I was unable to focus on anything but the pain.

She finally led me to a room and told us the doctor would be right in before she closed the door and continued to go do whatever her job requires her to do. It felt like I was waiting for hours for the doctor to come in, although it was only maybe 10-15 minutes, finally the door opened and I looked up to see the doctor.

"What seems to be the problem?," he asked me.

"In... lots... of pain," I told him in between the breaths I was taking to ease my pain.

"Okay, well we're not your usual OBGYN so we have some paperwork you need to complete unless you want to call your doctor here for an emergency situation, but I must tell you there's no guarantee she'll be here as soon as possible," he informed me.

Jackson looked at me as if silently telling me to fill out the paperwork but I was in no situation to write as of now. I was about to tell Jackson to just take me to my doctor's office when the doctor spoke to us again.

"I hadn't realized your mom works at this hospital."

I instantly froze at the thought of seeing her again. I haven't seen my mom since she kicked me out the house and I haven't seen my father since the incident where he cheated on my mom. I haven't thought about them in awhile I've been so happy they haven't crossed my mind. I guess secretly I would like to know how they're doing without me and if they miss me.

"My mother and I aren't on good terms and the pain is starting to get better so I think it's best if I have my boyfriend take me to my doctor since she's up to date with my pregnancy and everything...," I started to trail off as I was getting off the hospital bed.

"But...," Jackson started to say to me and instantly stopped when he saw the look I was giving him.

I made my decision already so he's just going to have to get over it.

"Sorry for any inconvenience I caused you we were just so worried about the baby it never crossed our minds to go to my doctor," I said.

"It's no inconvenience at all," he said with a smile and left the hospital room.

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We finally made it to my doctor and the cramps in my stomach have become more irritating than painful. So I chalked it up to some bad cramps but I still wanted to check and make sure that everything was okay with my babies. We parked then got out the car and made our way through the door into the waiting area. Jackson sat down while I went over to the receptionist to let her know I have an emergency.

"Your doctor's schedule is pretty full but I'm sure we can squeeze you somewhere. Are the cramps still unbearable?," she asked me.

"No now they're more irritating than hurtful," I told her.

"Okay well then just have a seat and I'll let her know you're here," she told me and then got up to go into the back.

I sat down next to Jackson and he laced his fingers through mine. I smiled over at him.

We were waiting maybe 30 minutes when my doctor came out and called me back with her. I got up still holding Jackson's hand in mine and pulled him forward with me. I laid down on the bed and Jackson sat down in a chair next to the bed.

"I'm going to take your vitals first to rule out some reasons why you experienced the cramps at the level that you did because they weren't normal cramps and you're obviously not going into labor," my doctor smiled.

After she finished she left the room. It felt like forever until she finally walked back in. I started to relax until I saw the concerned look on her face. She had this look that people get when they're telling someone a family member passed away. Why did she look like that?

"I have bad news," she said finally looking at me. "Your blood pressure is pretty high and you're in early stages of preclampsia called early-onset preclampsia and there's a strong chance you won't make it to full term."

"As in the babies will be premature?," Jackson asked her.

I immediately started to cry because I knew that's not what she meant.

"As in most likely your babies won't make it," she said to us confirming my worst fears.

In that moment I saw something I never thought would happen, Jackson started to cry with me. There has to be something I can do. She said early stages so maybe I can do some kind of treatment to make sure it doesn't get worse.

"Is there anything I can do?," I asked her.

She could see how hopeful I was, "I can give you corticosteroids to help the babies' lungs to mature, and give you medication to help reduce your blood pressure. If your condition or the babies' conditions worsen, prompt delivery will be needed. Even if it's too early you understand this right?"

I nodded taking it all in.

"Okay let's do that," I told her firmly. "I'm willing to do anything and everything to make sure they are okay."

"You must also understand that if we can not get a handle on this and you still decide to carry your babies, not only will they possibly die but there's a chance you may also. Preclampsia has some pretty severe effects on the mother if it worsens," she let me know.

"Okay," I said letting her know that I heard everything she said. "Let's do the treatment."