Die Arthia

B i l a n g LXVI

I did not move feeling all tired. I faint a smile and nod a little.

"Levi.." I whispered his name, I don't know if he heard me or what. "I don't want to get married with a Emperor." I said. I look at the moon in the balcony. "So much chaos." I said.

My life itself is already full of chaos, dying and going back in the past. I felt like if I avenge myself and my mother only I'll be satisfied and that's probably the reason why I got back my life.

I played with the small ring on my finger. It's shines throught he moon's light. I want to remove it to tell him that I don't want to get married but my body won't let me. It's as if the ring is for my finger, specially made for my finger.

"We should've met in different circumtances Levi." I don't know but a tear fell from my eyes. What am I feeling? Am I still intoxicated by the booze?

"Tia." He caress my cheeks using the back of his hands. "I'll give up the throne."

"And you think I'll stay with you if you won't have the throne?" I asked and laugh a little. I let the tear dry on my face since my hand is stuck in the ring on my finger mezmerize by it. Hindi sya nagsalita, I heard him sighed. "Maybe if I was loved then I'll know how to love you back." My heart is breaking on evrey words i'm saying.

"You're cruel. You're not gonna stay even if I have the throne." I smiled at his comment.

"Let's meet in a world where I'm not cruel and greedy."

He did not speak and hug my waist tightly. I close my eyes as sleepy feeling came again.

"Will you love me there?" My heart break more with his question. His voice was hoarsed it almost sound as if he is hurting.

"Deffinitely Levi." I said.

"Why does it feel like this is a goodbye?" Another drop of tear fell from my eyes. Is this goodbye?

I feel like I don't want to. I want to hold into Levi more. I wish time would stop and I'll forget my revenge.

"Why.." I stopped. "I don't want to let you go but I don't want to hold into you?" I asked even though I know it's my greed. "I want you." I honestly said. "If wanting you and wanting to be cherish by you is the thing called love, I think I love you Levi." I don't know if I'm honest or just blurting out nonsenses but my heart is aching so bad.

I've never felt this pain all my life. It makes me remeber the night before my death. This is more painful somewhat.

"If wanting your attention and your existence itself comfort me is called love.." I stopped, if I say this again there's no turning back but I want to say it atleast. I feel like if I do a heavy feeling will be lifted. "I think I love you Levi but I don't know if it's true but i'm uncertain." I said. His grip on my waist tighten more.

"If your uncertain why are you confessing?" He asked, I was caught off guard. "Don't tell me your feelings if you're not gonna stay." He said. I felt his lips on my head. His words break my heart more. Hindi ko alam kung may idudurog pa ang puso ko ngayon. I don't even know myself. This is not so me! "I love you so much that I can let you go if you want to."

Is that how people love?

I smiled a little.

"If you love Lady Inos, she'll never leave your side." I said.

"I don't think I want someone by my side if it's not Arthia."

"Why do you like me so much?" I asked. "I was never good to you." I said.

"Your greed is amazing." He said. "Reminded me of my young self." I did not speak and listen to him. "Say, I envied my brother because they were cherished by the Emperor. "My step-brothers are respected in the Imperial palace." He said I bit my lower lip. I can't imagine him being like me.

"Because I reminded you of your young self you liked me?" I asked.

"Yes, and I want both of us to succeed." I smiled a little. I just notice that I've been smiling since..

How good it would be if both Levi and I isn't greedy and living a simple life? We could be happy with a light heart.

Moment of silence and I was about to fall asleep but someone knocked on my door harshly. Levi move to see it so I look at him. He look at me as if I know who's outside.

"Who'll meet you at dawn?" He asked and stand up proudly. I look at his body down to his.. I looked away and close my eyes. I heard him wore his pants and open the door.

"L-lady Arthia.." I heard a familiar voice making me sit straight in my bed. My body's covered with my comforter.

My eyes widened when I saw a familiar sight.

Den fell on the floor while coughing blood. It's the same back then when I poisoned her. Fear ate me as I ran towards her. She cough blood on my floor. Levi sit infront of her to check her. When our eyes met namamaga ang mata nya at umiiyak sya, her face is full of bruises and burnt down to her neck.. I don't know why my heart break at her sight!

"L-lady Arthia.." she cried my name. I don't know if i'm back to past again but i'm scared.

"W-what happened?" I panicked. Walang pag-aalinlangan kong hinawakan ang balikat nya. She smiled at me weakly. "L-levi call a d-doctor!" I started to tremble.

"I-i did it L-lady Arthia." She smiled at me proudly. "I'i didn't spill your plans u-until the e-end." A tear fell from my eyes.

Why?

Why do I feel so sad and regretful?

"D-den.." She smiled at me and hold my cheeks with her bloody hand.

"I-i'm happy that I served my lady u-until the end." She said before closing her eyes, her hand fell from my cheeks.

I fell on the ground while watching her on Levi's arms. I laugh with tears on my eyes.

"Stupid." I whispered and cry. "Why are you doing  this to me?!" My voice roared.

I feel so hurt. I doubted her loyalty on me.

My heart races when I saw her open her mouth. Mabilis akong gumapang sa kanya.

"L-lady Lilibeth." She said before closing her eyes.

Ang nanahimik na galit ko ay muling nagising.

I want to kill her, kill her daughter--her family, her whole clan!

But I feel so weak looking at Den's body. She was there when I opened my eyes then. I killed her then and now she's offered her life for me again. I feel so regretful. I cried on the floor while Levi is just watching me. Just now that i'm starting feel something for people around me.. I look again at Den.

I'll avenge you.

"I'll kill you all!" I shouted with all my strength.

♡
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