Sweet Little Nothing [Lea Michele teenfiction]

Chapter 18: Dead, Alive.

Scarlett's point of view.

        It's been three days. People are coming in my room and after several minutes, they leave. Everybody came. Even friends from the past years. They were talking to me all the time, but I didn't hear a word. My closest friends are even touching me. I don't get them. They think I'm sick. They don't get that Peter is gone. I'll never see him again. A tear has just escaped my left eye. My mother is sitting on my bed. There is a man standing near her. He is wearing a white rope and he is holding a stethoscope. He must be a doctor.

"You see? She doesn't make any expressions, but she is crying from time to time.", I hear my mother saying. What is she talking about? Can't she see that I'm dying inside?

"She is still in shock. You can't do anything yet. If she keeps going like this, you'll have to do other things, which we'll talk about when that day comes.", the -I assumed- doctor answered. What other things? What the hell is he talking about? And for God's sake, can't they just talk outside my room? I want to be alone.

"Let's go outside.", my mum said and they walked outside. I'm not sure if she can hear my thoughts.

        After several hours of me looking at the ceiling, Lorrie came in my bedroom. She is staring at me, and she is making me feel a bit awkward. I can't even look away. I'm telling my body to do things, but my brain is not functioning very well. I can't move. It's like I'm paralysed. It's like I'm in a coma. I wish people would understand that, but they don't. In fact I'm starting to think that they think that I'm crazy. Is that true? Am I going nuts?

        Lorrie is talking to me. She is telling me about school, but I can't concentrate on her for long. I think she just told me that I have been absent from school for many days, and I might not pass the class. The last thing I want to do right now is repeating the junior class, and especially without my friends and the people I know. She is telling me something about her pregnancy. It's getting hot in here. Spring is really here. Somebody should feed the drunk pigeon. I hope somebody realises that it needs feeding. Theodore just came in the door. He is wearing a sad smile. Lorrie tells him about my situation. There is nothing to say actually. I'm in shock, that's what the doctor said. Theo knows the rest. He touches my hand with his. It's worm and a bit sweaty. He squeezes it, because I may send a signal, but as I said before, I am a bit dead inside. Only my brain can work. The rest of my body is not under my control. After about an hour, they leave.

 Three days later.

        My mother is looking at me and she is trying to notice every move I make. The thing is, I don't make any moves except from breathing and blinking. The drunk pigeon was making a lot of noise yesterday and she remembered that it should be fed, so I don't have to worry about that. I haven't seen my mother for so long since I was very young. She is really beautiful. I hadn't noticed it all those years and I was wondering how did Victor turn out so handsome. Victor.. Even though we didn't have the best relationship siblings could have, I miss him. And I'm sure he would say something so stupid, that he would make me angry and I would react and wake up from this sopor. My parents seemed rather relieved than worried when he left us. They didn't even look for him. My mother believed that he would come back, but it's been months, and I feel a bit proud of him, because I didn't know that he would live on his own. I actually I wasn't sure if he was able to stay alive if my mother didn't remind him to eat once in a while. I just hope he is fine wherever he is. Still no change..

Five days later.

        This morning I woke up and saw my father sitting on my bed. Am I dying? 'Cause this is the only way my father would not go to work to be with me. He is touching my face. My mother is on the other side of my bed. She looks happy that we are all together. She probably already forgot about Victor. The doctor is examing me. He finishes and tells my parents to go outiside and talk. "You two should go. I don't want to leave her alone.", my father tells them. WTF? They go outside and they start talking.