𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑵𝑯𝑬𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻// adam stanheight//saw (finished!!)

𝖝𝖝𝖝

casey's pov

i felt like i was going mad.

the more i thought about it, the angrier i got.

i think i'm getting an abortion.

well, i don't think, i know. i'm not ready for kids. plus i don't even know who the father is.

that's the worst part honestly.

not knowing who the father to your own child is.

but i don't care.

cause it won't be mine for long.

then again, this baby could be my best friend, my everything.

but i think twice, and i'm not ready for kids at all.

i'm too young in my opinion.

i never even wanted kids in the first place.

my mom always told me that kids ruin lives.

they crush your youth, is what she said.

she said that i was the reason she entered adulthood.

she also said she wishes she never had me.

but in the end, she loved me.

until she died.

i miss her.

and i'm happy she was honest with me all the time.

after she died, i realized she deserved a lot better.

my step dad would hit her.

and he'd also hit me sometimes, but most times my mom would defend me and "sacrifice" herself for me.

i never really understood when i was younger.

but now i know.

i understand why she killed herself.

but what i don't understand is why i had to be the one to find her.

it wasn't brutal or anything.

she didn't hang herself.

all i remember is walking into her bedroom and standing beside her bed telling her i was hungry.

and i'd continue to ask her what was for breakfast.

then i remember seeing the pills.

and i didn't understand what was wrong with her.

i just thought she was deep asleep.

then i kept calling her name, "mommy."

but she didn't wake up.

so afterwards, i walked into the living room, where my step dad was sleeping on the recliner with beer bottles around him.

i woke him, and he was angry that i did.

i then told him my mom wasn't waking up.

he didn't believe me, but he finally took me and walked in her room.

he went up to her and called her name a couple of times, "jessie."

he continued to call her name, but she never woke up.

i remember he turned around slowly and told me it was my fault and hit me across the face.

i still had no idea what was going on.

until the police later showed up, and an ambulance, and took my mom away.

later, there was a funeral, and i finally realized she was gone.