renegades « TWD

8.1 storms and goodbyes

Ellie

"  Dear Mom, Judith, RJ and the rest of my family,
  I feel lost, broken.
I'm not okay and I can't help anyone like this. I know that this is probably one of the most selfish things that I will do, but please understand that I don't know what else to do."

  It's been almost three months, and the unbearable pain hadn't left my side.

The weirdest thing about death, is that your day doesn't stop. It goes on. You still have to eat and sleep. But I didn't sleep almost every night and pointy ribs were starting to show on my body.

Alexandria was covered in snow and the terrible wind howled outside the window.

"I swear to God, I have memorised every square inch of this room," Negan said in a bored tone, but then a wicked grin took over his face, "And it still feels like a party."

Rosita handcuffed his arm to the a pipe, of course I was against it but it was my word over everyone else's.

I rolled my eyes. "Should've left you in the basement."

Negan put a hand on his heart. "That really cut deep, Sinclair."

But it didn't take long for him to continue his endless rambling, "It smells like a goddamn barn, and you're all bored shitless, but-"

"Language!" Judith called out, her tiny frame sitting by one of the windows.

"Sorry." Negan hushed himself, "Sorry kiddo." And then, he pushed on even further. "But, I mean, we've got ourselves this hot little love quadrangle here to entertain us," Negan's face was no estatic, successfully finding a way to bother someone.

And it was true, Rosita was pregnant from Siddiq but they broke up, and now Rosita was together with Gabriel. Siddiq was still Rositas doctor, that surely had to be awkward.

"It's like Christmas to me." Negan said, overjoyed.

God, I did not miss this man.

I elbowed him in the ribs. "Stop being such a freak."

"Oh come on, you can not tell me that you don't find this just as funny as I do!" Negan point at the three.

Negan might annoy the living hell out of me sometimes, but he was the only one who kept me sane. Everyone in Alexandria for the past few months were walking on eggshells around me, telling how sorry they were for me and trying not to say the wrong thing. But not him. Not once had he told me that he was sorry for my loss, and I guess treated normally helped me.

I shook my head, hiding the little smile on my face. "I cannot be here for this."

Bit Negan saw my smile, "See everyone, I'm not the only one highly entertained by this."