letters never sent

1.

childhood is about innocence and building relationships
the issue with that is finding friends who won't stab you in the back
you meet someone and bond over shared interests. they're your best friend. is that enough?
as it turns out, it's not.
even if you grow together, make memories together, it wasn't enough. it isn't.
the minute things get hard, they choose the person they find easier to listen to.
they choose someone else.
why was it easier to believe her over me? you knew her longer?
nobody asked me what happened.
nobody asked for the truth.
in those lonely seven months, my childhood ended.
it's hard to stay innocent after being lied to, lied about, and gaslit.
see, you were fine, and i lost everything. everyone.

thank you. for forcing me to grow up so quickly. before i was ready. for leaving me.
i would not be who i am today without the trauma.

all the same, fuck you for everything. i was not ready.
—

i don't appreciate your mentioning my name last summer, or saying that you'd be okay with reconnecting with me because you're over it.
nothing happened to you.
you picked their side. and i spent so much time getting gaslit and abused.
you were supposed to be my best friend, you don't get to know me now.
i've changed and grown in a way that you could never imagine.

you seem to be the exact same.

nothing was the same after that summer. that school year was the worst year of my life.
but good for you, i guess, for getting over that.
because i got over it but i don't forgive a goddamn thing.