Monster | J.JK✔️

17: Warning

Flashback
Jungkook POV

Peaking my head out of my new room, with the family I've been with for nearly 2 months, I spotted light coming from the edges of the bathroom door down the hallway. Meaning that Ms Han is in the bathroom. Taking this opportunity, I silently rushed out of the room and towards the kitchen. The second I stepped out of my room, fear buzzes in my head knowing I mustn't get caught by her. Getting to the kitchen with my head ringing sirens through my ears, I rummaged through the drawers to find my friend.
A knife.
Just in case I need it...

Finding it in the drawer with other utensils I grabbed the smallest one and quietly closed the drawer. I skidded back into my room and sat against the furthest wall. Ms Han's 2 biological kids are out doing whatever they want in this school holiday. I'm not allowed to. Because Ms Han found my blade in my black box with the torn up bits of Minji's photo and confiscated it. So now she doesn't trust me anymore. I'm stuck here. I can't see Minji for weeks!!! I can't eat, sleep or talk without her. It's been weeks already and there's more to come. I can't bear to stay away from Minji for any longer...I'm dying!!

Automatically a cut carved my skin.

And this knife proves it.

Instantly biting my lip harshly to seal my whimper, I looked down to see a light trail of dark red blood trickling down my right arm. I clenched my fists feeling pain start to emerge. But the cut's not strong enough. I'm used to this now. I'm used to the pain. I need more. Without Minji everything is pain. So...I think turning my mental pain into physical cuts is better...

I placed the tip of the blade further down my arm towards my elbow. I brought it down so it comes in contact with the skin.
Then I slid upwards. Slowly.
The cut is not as deep yet the pain will last longer the slower I go.

Why aren't I dead yet?

Thinking about this intriguing question, I roughly slid the blade faster up to my wrist making me unable to contain the shout that escaped my lips. Blood seeps out faster near my wrist as it leaked down into my clothes and the carpet. It hurts. It hurts. It still hurts!

Just die and it will stop hurting.

So I sliced again.
Again.
Again.

How long does it take for me to die...?
I've been doing this for years. I remember my first cut when I was only 12. I was shaking from fear at first. I was scared of the extra pain and the blood. But I did it. Then when it healed I made another. Just one more. And for around a year I would make just one cut and wait for it to heal before the other. But a year later I started getting used to it. I cut myself more often with more amounts. It felt good. The day I met Minji was the day after I did my first serious damage to myself. Minji is my saviour. But if she's not here...I end up doing it again.
I can't stop.

By now I've lost count of how many cuts I've made. With red blood flowing all over my arm I can vaguely see where the fresh wounds are. My pale skin no longer visible as a layer of blood coated around my arm making it look at if my skin colour is red. From my hands down to my elbow blood painted my skin. Violently shaking, my breath dangerously irregular, I felt my head spin rapidly from all the blood loss. My lip bleeding too from how tightly I've been trying to keep it sealed as well as the blood decorating the knife.