The Illusion of Danger

Chapter 9

Upon arriving back at his living quarters, Mordecai clambered in through the window in a winded and bristled heap. It may have been a beautiful night, but his anxiety happened to set in about halfway to the city.
What had he been thinking? What came over him? Why did he let such things happen? Who was he when all of that transpired? He knew that it was extremely out of character for him and it really did terrify him.

Not only did he share his first kiss that evening, but also his second and third; also the fact that it had been with another man. It didn't necessarily bother him that he'd kissed another man nor the severity of the legal standing of it, of course, having done much worse when it came to the breaking of laws. No, it was more the fact that it had happened at all; the circumstances were something he never imagined either.

Now that he was home, the tuxedo made sure to lock his point of entry. His mind was aflutter, as well as the beating muscle within his rib cage. He certainly hoped that the tabby wouldn't expect such things to happen again. He didn't even know why he agreed to a 'date'. How would they make that work? Weren't dates supposed to happen in public places, such as dinner at fine restaurants and dancing and...
Dancing. The Nine Lives. Rocky had gotten all dressed up for that. Did he think of that as a date?

Mordecai needed to stop thinking but he couldn't; he was in too deep now, practically drowning in his own mind. Such a cruel reality.
In order to distract himself, he turned back to his window and unlocked it, then locked it again, repeating this seven times to make it eight since he'd returned. Sometimes that would help, but it didn't seem to do the job this time.

Whipping around again, he flung his coat off and marched up to the light switch, flicking the lights to his bedroom on and off eight times. Once again, there was no relief.

With labored breath, the tuxedo cat walked over to his wardrobe and opened all of the drawers and the cabinet, taking everything out, and began to neatly put everything away again in an orderly and perfect fashion; not a thread out of place. That was until he got to his handkerchiefs... there were only seven. He let Rocky keep one of them. He lied about having a new one made.

"Damn it!"
Mordecai huffed, shrinking down to the floor with his hands holding his head with his tail curling against his left leg. He could tell that the rest of his evening was going to be extremely long. He would have to go out and the next morning and place an order for one just like the last.

It took the poor black and white cat a good ten minutes to catch his breath and remind himself that his obsessive-compulsive tendencies could only get him so far. He could fix his wardrobe as many times as he wanted, but he still had to face his original problem that was causing his panic.

Taking one more deep breath, Mordecai uncurled from his stress-filled mass and finished putting his wardrobe back in order. He wouldn't let this get the best of him, so some tea was likely a good idea, then a shower, and then bed. Whether he would be able to sleep was a different problem, but he would deal with that when he came to it.

Filling the kettle with water, the black and white cat set it on the stove and turned the burner on before grabbing his teapot, teacup, and saucer. He then opened his cupboard and began going through his options for tea.
Lavender? Maybe chamomile? Kava? Fennel? Rhodiola? Even tea was giving him stress. Not to mention his sudden desire to reorganize everything in his kitchen even though he had his kitchen cleaning day the Saturday that had just passed.

Hunching over with his elbows on the counter, Mordecai held his head in his hands again.
"Why..."
He whispered to himself with a shake of his head.

***

Once the black and white cat was out of his line of sight, Rocky was just barely able to stand upon his own two feet, now seeming to have had his legs replaced by a baby deer. He took a step forward, granting his face access to the ground beneath him. As he hit the dirt, he began laughing maniacally. Never in his life, did he think he would kiss a man. Or anyone he felt this kind of affection for. He wasn't really sure what to do with himself, so laughing into the dirt like a mad man seemed to be a good option at the time.