The Illusion of Danger

Chapter 18

Rocky made his way down the stairs and out to the sidewalk. He looked around to see if there are any suspicious characters around. Which probably wouldn't do much considering the suspicious characters he was trying to watch out for, he had never seen in his life.

The tabby made his way back to his vehicle parked a block or so away from the apartment building. He was anxious to read that letter Mordecai had written for him. But he also wanted to tell Calvin about his date.

"Oh! Anthony!"
Rocky exclaimed excitedly. He had really wanted to meet up with the ragdoll to talk about his first official date with Mordecai.

"Okay, get to the car, drive to the hotel where Anthony is staying, then read the letter before you go inside."
The tabby said to himself as he sprinted to his vehicle, now totally invigorated.

Once he got to his car, he started it up and sped the whole way to the hotel. When he pulled up to the curb and parked his car, he carefully pulled the letter out from his coat pocket.

"Okay... here we go..."
Taking a deep breath, Rocky unfolded the letter and began to read.

'Mr. Rickaby,
To start, I would like to tell you that I appreciate how patient you have been. There are going to be a few things within this piece of writing that I have never told anyone; very personal things. Please handle this information with care.
From the beginning.
Since I was young, I've known that I fancied men over women, however, the way homosexuals are seen and treated, I have spent many years hiding not only from the world but myself as well. I've conditioned myself to avoid both sexes so that I wouldn't have to face my true desires.
My thought process was that if I didn't force myself to like the opposite sex, I wouldn't notice how truly unhappy I was by pretending to be someone I wasn't.'

The letter continued onto the second page.

'In the process of all of that, I quickly lost all desire for romance. I closed myself off and kept my mind on my studies.
When my father passed away, I found myself working for grifters, loan sharks, and gambling operations. The man who taught me how to manage the books properly was the only one I really found myself to slip for.
I happened to bring up the topic of a man being infatuated with another man. His response was exactly this:
"It is the most disgusting and unnatural phenomena to ever disgrace the earth."
It was then that I realized that I was alone. If I was to come clean about my truths, I would have been the subject of ridicule or killed if I told the right person.
I promised myself that I would never feel anything for anyone for any amount of time. It was far too dangerous. I've held onto that promise for 15 years.
You broke it.
The night you kissed me was when I felt those walls begin to deteriorate and that once dead spark reignite. Please note that the keyword is "begin". The walls are still very strong and it may take a while to fully break them,'

Continued on page three.

'but I'm sure that you will be able to break through soon.
I never would have thought that I would have had sexual relations with another man in my lifetime. Thank you for sharing that experience with me.

Something else I would like to address.
You mentioned that the threat and danger is attractive to you. I can't help but think that is the only thing drawing you in. Obviously, I'd be able to have that work to my advantage, so it is not at all an issue.
When you brought up the act of general fornication, you said that you knew how it was supposed to happen.
I can't help but feel like what occurred was not the entire experience, but I don't think I see what else is to happen. Perhaps I'm thinking too much into it for nothing.
When I complimented your singing, I meant the sounds that you had made during the act. I thought I would make that clear.
I'm digressing.'