500 Days of Styles (1D FanFic)

Day 204

Day 204

I'd spent the entire week-end at home having a pity party. But I was done with that.

Today I had a mission, and I was determined to make it happen.

I marched towards Simon's door, rapping on the wood. He called for me to enter and I did.

"Oh, Arden, hello dear," he greeted, looking up from his papers.

"Good morning, Mr. Cowell."

"What can I help you with?" he asked sincerely.

This pained me more than you could ever imagine, but I had to do it. I couldn't risk seeing him every day. "I'm quitting," I said evenly.

"What? Why?" he asked in confusion, seeming clearly concerned. "What about Harry?"

"Harry and I- had a bit of a falling out," I confessed, looking down at my hands in my lap.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Are you sure Arden? I'm sure we could make arrangements so you wouldn't see him, if that's the issue."

I shook my head. "No, but that's very kind of you. I just need a new start, you know?"

"Well, I guess. If you don't mind me asking- What exactly are you planning on doing?"

"Well, ever since the band went big, I've been getting a lot of offers from various modeling companies. I think I'm going to take one of them up on their offer."

Simon nodded. "Well, you're a beautiful girl. I wish you luck Arden, and make sure you stop by and say hello every once in a while."

"Of course," I smiled, glad that this had been easy.

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"I still really like this one," Alex stated, showing me a website on her computer. We'd spent pretty much all of Monday afternoon sorting through my modeling offers, trying to choose one company.

"Yeah, I think it's that one, or this one," I replied, showing her the other website.

We continued to look over them before finally making a decision.

"Alright, so let's e-mail them then, right?" I asked, looking over their website.

Alex nodded. We quickly composed an e-mail saying I was interested, and before I knew it, we'd sent it.

"So now we just wait for a reply?" she asked, looking to me for confirmation.

I nodded, my eyes glued to the computer screen. Suddenly there was a ding, and I had a small notification saying that I have one unread e-mail.

I looked at Alex but she was already opening it.

We both read the e-mail in silence before loud squeals erupted.

"Oh my god, Ar! They want to see you today!" Alex exclaimed.

"I know!" I replied, equally as ecstatic.

"Come on, let's get you ready!"

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I walked out the front door, my entire body practically shaking. I had a modeling contract.

Some small town girl from Ohio had a modeling contract with one of the top modeling companies in England. Sure it was majorly influenced by the fact I had dated Harry Styles, but they wanted me because apparently I had "natural talent".

I had walked for them and taken a few portfolio shots, and the agency had loved me. It felt amazing to accomplish something for myself. I was going to actually make something of myself.

As a freaking model!

I got a cab and rode it back to the apartment.

Once I was there, I practically sprinted up the stairs.

I burst through the door yelling, "Alex, I got signed!"

"Oh my god!" Alex screamed, appearing through the doorway in to the kitchen. "That's incredible!"

"I know!" I said, literally jumping up and down with her.

"So when you do start?" she asked once we'd calmed down slightly.

"I have a shoot for my portfolio tomorrow!"

"Oh my god, Ar, this is incredible!"

"I know, I know!"

We continued to freak out for a few minutes before going in to the kitchen and sharing a bottle of champagne that we'd had for a while but never had an occasion to drink.

"Here's to an amazing year, full of fame, fortune, and forgetting about those fucking boys!" Alex cheered.

"I'll drink to that," I retorted, clinking my glass with her, downing the entire glass.

---------

After Alex and I had finished our "celebration", I returned to my room.

I collapsed on the bed, exhausted but also content. For the first time in days, I felt happy and fulfilled.

I propped up on my elbows, my eyes immediately meeting the CDs that hung on my wall.

One in particular caught my eye. I read the lyrics.

"I've got troubled thoughts, and a self-esteem to match. What a catch."

I read them a couple times, feeling every good feeling that I'd felt today melt away. It all melted away, leaving me feeling empty and numb.

What was I doing? I was just trying to cover up how fucking messed up I was by being a model. It was utterly ridiculous. It's not that I couldn't be a model, it's just that I shouldn't.

I shook my head, rubbing my eyes.

There was one reason I felt like this. And his name was Harry Styles.

I clenched my fists, feeling the anger flood in to my body, replacing the emptiness. He cheated on me.

But why?

Was I too ugly?

Was I too fat?

Was I not good enough?