Lost in each other

Chapter six

Jessie

Kai asks me if I have any plans for tonight when we get back from visiting his father with my parents. I am not stupid enough to tell him the truth and giving him a chance to stop me from going along with this madness.

"I am going over to Elise. She is going to help me with my work project" I lie. I really hope this won't be something I get used to doing. I practically never lie to Kai, we always tell each other everything but this time I really need to keep this to myself. He approves and lets me know that Lilly will be here in an hour. God that's just when he is supposed to be here picking me up. What if she sees us and tells Kai, he would be so angry with me. He has been warning me about Kaden since I first told him of the fight at campus. And now I am going behind his back to hang out with him. Or worse to start a sexual relationship with him. It was enough with all the questions about him staying on the couch to rest a whole life time. Could I be anymore stupid? Not only am I stupid but extremely nervous about being alone with him. Even if I was last night. But then I was drunk and I didn't feel as cowardly as I do right now. Why did I need to write him back like that? I am obviously giving him a side of myself that I might not be able to uphold when I eventually am around him. After twenty minutes I receive a text message from Kaden. Here it comes, he must have changed his mind.

I couldn't wait any longer. Get down

He is here! Oh shit. I need to triple check how I look as I have been doing the past hour. Even Kai has questioned my anxiety of staring into the mirror today. My hair is slightly curly as always and today I decided to put on some mascara. Which is not something that I usually do. I take my burgundy colored Manchester jacket and tell Kai not to wait up. He wishes me good luck. If he only knew how much I truly need it. In the elevator I make sure that my high denim jeans are sitting properly and that my cropped top is covering my belly. As I exit the elevator I get even more nervous, but not as nervous as I feel now that I see him sitting in his car. Holy shit, this is really happening. He looks at me intensely when he notices me walking up to the car. Without letting myself hesitate I open the door and sit down on the passenger seat. His eyes widen even more as he looks at me.

"Ready?" he asks

"Sure" I confirm.

He drives out of the parking lot and heads out to the driveway. We sit quietly for a few minutes as he looks out at the road. That makes me suspect that he might be just as nervous as me. Maybe it's because he is the one who hasn't been with anyone for two years, for some reason. Because of something he evidently won't tell me.

"How was your day?" he finally asks first before this awkward silence makes us regret hooking up last night.

"It was fine thank you. How was yours?" I ask, genuinely interested in what he has been up to all day.

"It was nice. But I am very tired from being awake almost all night, last night" he responds looking at me with a flirtatious smile. He makes me flush and he is enjoying it. There is something about him that makes me extra nervous. He is very hard to read and unexplainably intense.

"I could say the same" I snap back playfully trying to lighten my stiffness. He smiles looking at the road with his incredible green eyes. As he drives I inspect his entire body. Those firm thighs, later going up to his tight arms and manly hands that are holding the steering wheel. His jaw is tense and is covered by a stubble beard. We arrive at an apartment building in Oakland where he parks the car outside. He then turns to me with a smile.

"Let's go inside," he says softly, making me feel shivery again. What is with him affecting me this way? He is definitely the only one who has managed to make me feel like this. Nervous and excited at the same time. We head out of the car and I follow him into the building. There is a staircase on the left of the entrance, we head upstairs. Is he testing my durability? But then we reach the first floor where he opens the door to enter the apartment complex. I pass him as he holds up the door for me. After entering the hallway, I wait for him to show me the way.