Lost in each other

Chapter twelve

Kaden

It's been more than 24 hours since I last saw her sitting on the bed while I was acting like a dick. Well I guess it's better this way. I don't want her to get any ideas and we have been fully over each other the past few days. It hasn't even been a week since the first day I drove her to her apartment. Fucking hell! Of course she thinks I am falling in love with her. Or that I want more when we have been fucking more than the amount of days we have been with each other. A fucking idiot, is what I am. She is not the problem here, it's me. I text Jaime before fading to sleep.

I'll go with you tomorrow. Pick me up?

When I wake up it's barely 7 am. The annoying sound of the alarm clock wakes me up. After struggling to open my eyes for a few seconds I reach for my cell phone. Jaime sent me a message before falling asleep last night.

Yeah sure. Does 10 work for you?

That's in three hours. It gives me plenty of time to get ready and pack for two days in Sacramento. I check my phone again to see if she has reached out but she hasn't. The last message in our conversation was my message asking her about Kai spending the night with Lilly. Screw this. As I make my way to the bathroom I can't help but feel disappointed. I step into the shower and let the water run down over me while I soap myself. That's when I see two small scratches over my shoulders. I haven't noticed them before now. These must be from her. From when I was savoring her, fuck. It's important that I get that shit out of my head. But the images of that night are stronger than my will to ignore them. Her biting her lip not to scream comes up in my head like a hot flash. Then another image of her sucking me off with her big brown eyes looking all innocent and shit. The way she just swallowed me whole like she were some kind of sex goddess...

"No stop" I say to myself as I open my eyes. My dick pulsates by those flashbacks alone. This is not an uncontrollable abstinence for not having sex for two years. This is because of her. I slept with a lot of girls before Emily but no one made me feel like her. Not even Emily. And no one has ever made me come or feel this way like how I feel, when I am inside of Jessie. It's just her. I guess it's my own fault. Because I could just give in and make her mine but I can't do that to Emily. Even if my sister tells me to move on. I just can't do that. For fuck sake. I continue with my shower until I am done heading out of the bathroom to go pack whatever I am going to bring. I find an old duffle bag I haven't used for a while. For the past few years I have been living in Oakland I haven't needed to go anywhere else, until now. I pack two pair of everything and close the bag. The condom box is lying right there by my nightstand. I stare down at it, thinking about bringing some in case of. On second thought, I won't do that. I haven't given up on seeing her at least one more time. I better text her something to avoid making her more upset with me. Or she'll back away from me after what happened. I should have just laughed it off. But my guard has been up for far too long.

Hey, I'll be away this weekend with Jaime at his parents. And I'll be bringing my battle scars from you with me.

I smile at the thought of her reading that, I think it's relaxing enough to break the ice. It's like the tenth draft I came up with but it's a whole lot better than the first nine. Three hours later and she still hasn't responded, but it might be a free day for her and she might be sleeping in. At least that's what I keep telling myself to avoid stalking her. Jaime is downstairs so I get my bag and head to the parking lot. I'm sure going to miss my car while I am gone.

"Hey man! Ready for the world's longest drive" he says joking around as I enter the passenger seat. I put down my duffle bag in between my legs and move back the seat because I am far too long for this seat as he tells me about his family. I check my phone when I finally see a message from her.