Most Lovely Words

Chapter 5: Numb

After hanging out with Bry the whole day, we had found our way to his couch. Starting a Star Wars marathon, we had managed to finish half of the prequel before he had fallen asleep next to me. I looked at the small clock above the TV, seeing that it was nearly 6, and I stifled a yawn. It was getting late, and I felt that I'd already overstayed my welcome. That's when an alarm I'd set on my phone went off, waking Bry as the sound echoed through the apartment.

"Hey, you," I whispered, giving him a gentle kiss before getting up. "I think that means it's time for more medicine."

He gave me a grimace but obliged. As I grabbed his pill pack, I saw just how many prescriptions he'd been given. Jesus. They really don't fuck around. There were at least four different colored pills needing to be taken in Friday's slot, and Saturday had six. I filled a cup with some water, heading back to him and handing over the pills and glass. He took the pills two at a time, making an odd face as he did.

"I hate medicine," I said, hoping to comfort him a little. "It always tastes awful, especially the liquid ones."

"Ugh, it's the worst," He agreed.

We kept smiling at each other, but deep down I was heartbroken. I knew I couldn't bear to lose him. I would lose myself without him. And though he was putting up a good facade, he was faking. I could see his pain. It was etched into the heartfelt smile he gave me, burnt into his eyes and expression. I wanted to tell him it was ok to show how he really felt, but he would've just told me he was ok. He would've smiled and told me not to worry. Because that's who he was. He would endure and accept, even if it meant bringing himself to his lowest point. But he was strong and loving too.

"So, listen, I think I should go," I said after a few minutes of sitting beside him. "It's late, and you should eat something and get some rest."

He gave me a sideways grin and shook his head. "Great, now you're starting to sound like my mother."

"Wha- Hey! I can't help that I care!" I argued defensively, though I knew he was teasing. "You really are so stubborn."

"Nowhere as stubborn as you." He pointed out.

"Alright, you know what? I don't think I have to take this." I said as I crossed my arms.

"Sorry, sorry!" He gave me an apologetic puppy face. "Stay the night? Please?"

"I wish I could, but I can't." I lamented. "My place needs me too."

"More than I do?" He asked, giving me a weak pout.

I lightly smacked the pillow beside him and laughed, earning a grin from him as I stood up. I gave him another kiss, made my way toward the front door, and stopped in front of it to give him one last goodbye.

"Don't be sad," I begged when I saw that he'd started crying. "I'll be back first thing tomorrow morning, I promise."

"It's not that!" He wiped a few tears away with a chuckle.

"Then what is it?" I asked.

"The fact that I'm the luckiest guy in the world." He said softly.

"Bry!" I giggled. "Being a kiss ass is not going to work on me!"

"But it was, wasn't it? For just a minute?" He questioned with a slight grin.

"Ok, maybe just a little." I admitted. "Look, I really have to go. But I will be back. Promise."

"I mean it, you know." He said as I turned the doorknob. "I love you."

I choked up, trying not to show him the emotional turmoil that his words put me through. It felt like the more I cared, the more I hurt. I started thinking as I walked out into the warm, humid August night. But, my thoughts terrified me. They were cruel, and heartless. Things that I would never say. Things like maybe I'd be better off leaving him alone. Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much if I didn't care. But of course I cared. He had told me he loved me. Something I had only dreamed of hearing. As I made my way home, I knew then. This apartment wasn't home. Bry was. He was where I belonged. He had the ability to make me see beauty in the harshest things.