Most Lovely Words

Chapter 1: Let The Sun Rain Down

"Cancer."

I stared numbly at my best friend of seven years. I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't. Of course, I'd heard about how devastating cancer was and how anyone could be a victim, but there was no way. How was it that someone so healthy and young had been diagnosed with cancer?

"Were they joking?" I asked, half choking back sobs and half expecting him to start laughing at his terrible joke.

"Five months." He replied hollowly. "And that's with chemo treatments."

Words had left me, and I felt helpless. Cold wandered through my arms and neck, causing me to shiver. How was that possible? He'd been fine, right? Just last week, we'd hung out at the park together to go running for over a mile and a half. He hadn't shown any signs of being sick, let alone that sick.

"Well, I..." I tried to find something good to say, but nothing came. Comfort him. I should comfort him, right? "Listen, why don't we talk about this later? For now, we should take your mind off this."

His eyes flashed up at me slightly, a small, forced smile curving his cheek. "Ok."

"Why don't we make a bucket list? Lots of people our age do that," I suggested.

In truth, I was 22, and he was turning 23 in a little over four months. We were too young to be talking about things we wanted to do before we died, in my opinion. But, I couldn't think of anything else that might take his mind off the pain. What can you possibly do to distract someone from remembering they've just been told they're dying?

"Alright..." He agreed slowly. "But why don't you go first?"

"Ok," I said nervously. Rushing to think of something, I listed off three bucket list goals that seemed pretty standard. "Go to another country, get married, and... hm..." I couldn't think of another, so I looked over to Bry for help.

"What? Aw, come on! Don't tell me you're all out of ideas?" He laughed, but the sound was dry and not his usual.

"Sorry, I can't think of anything. So, what about you? What's on your bucket list?"

"Me?" He looked down, letting out a small breath. "I want to live to see 23."

"My God," I blurted out. I hated myself for that, especially when I saw the small tears Bry blinked quickly from his eyes. Desperate to fix the mess I'd made, I spoke rapidly. "Oh, n- no, I just meant that- that it's... I- I only mean... I'm so sorry..."

I cried as I grabbed him into a harsh hug that lasted minutes. He clung to me as I held him closer than I ever had before. Little did he know, I liked the scent of his cologne, and the soft feel of his hair, even the way that light seemed to make his eyes shine even more. I refused to imagine never having that again. I didn't want to think about never holding him or not hearing his voice anymore. We had been so close for years that if anyone told me I was going to lose him, I would have laughed. I never once thought that one day he wouldn't be around. I had gotten so used to his company that the idea of not having it was foreign to me in a way that burned my lungs and eyes.

The pain caused a hitch in my throat, and I noticed massive globs of tears falling from my eyes. No. No, no, no. It just can't be real. I can't lose my best friend. Not when I never got to tell him how much he meant to me. Not when he didn't know that I...

"Kallie?" He whispered as we broke up our hug. "Sorry to drop this on you like that. I... I haven't even told my mom yet. To be honest... I don't know how to tell anybody."

He glanced at me with a slight grimace before wiping a few tears away. I laid my hand on his, and the feel of his warm skin comforted my soul. Did he realize how precious he was? Did he know how happy he made me? Was now a good time to say the very thing I'd been keeping secret? I really care about you, Bry Taylor.