Collection TSV - One Shots

Red Carnation Part 6 (NSFW)

Crosspost from Ao3

Chapter 6 Act 5

The next assignment Eddy took - of course ordered by Brett - he had a wish, a desire, a want.

They were laying in bed, freshly showered; a Sunday routine they mindlessly fell into. Brett kissed Eddy's forehead and the tip of his nose, bathing in the afterglow. He looked, studied, Eddy. The man - yes, man, not boy anymore - fidgeted with his fingers and didn't meet his eyes. He was also more enthusiastic than ever - not that Eddy lacked it at all, but this was particularly more than he was used to it. Brett kissed him softly before backing up a bit.

"What is it?"

Eddy glanced over; an odd yet familiar luster of determination and hesitation crossed his gaze as he stared back at Brett. Their eyes had met, brown against brown, only for Eddy to glance away and take a fascination with the ceiling yet again.

He was growing restless; not necessarily the type of restlessness that could be settled by sending him to a city hours away from here. No. It was the one that brought with it a storm of inadequacy. It wasn't comforting, realizing that his kills seemed to be set in a pattern, that they were all growing too simple for him - and what was there to prove if everything was easy? He sighed at the subtle realization that his own worth was paralleled to the difficulty of a mission, the challenge behind it; because the more difficult it was, the more he would be proving his own worth to himself and - more importantly - Brett.

A quick little shrug. "I'm just wondering." He sank deeper into the bed, his eyes clouded over with thought as he struggled to piece his next words together. "I want to prove my worth to you. Not as Eddy, as Edward."

"But you did already, Eddy. You did show me your worth. Every mission you come home from, every mission you complete, every mission you are not injured; that is what makes me send you out more. I can trust you, your abilities, your vision and your competence. That is what makes me feel confident in you returning to me. I would be crushed otherwise and you know it."

Of course Brett understood what Eddy meant, but that didn't mean he had to address it. Edward was competent in his eyes. Very much so. Otherwise they wouldn't be laying in his bed, but instead he would be either in the basement or training room. He only allowed Eddy to be in his bedroom because he knew Eddy would make up for the time lost when he was away - and also he needed rest once in a while. Only pushing forward was not the way to go. He needed rest, a time out - something Brett regulated with ease. He needed one of his best killers in the best shape, otherwise it would be ridiculous to expect a perfect performance.

His free hand stroked over Eddy's cheeks, gently turning the head to him.

"If you weren't worthy of me, then you wouldn't be here."

"I know that," he mumbled, "but I want you to feel confident in me returning to you even with the riskier missions, the more difficult and time-consuming ones. I want you to know and trust that I can do so much more."

Eddy's eyes were serene, yet laden with an open vulnerability and concern that was only ever seen within the confines of Brett's bedroom; the gleam in them flickered briefly as he realized that Brett wasn't quite answering the way he wanted to, but determination still reigned underneath. Loyalty was one thing - and Eddy had plenty of it to spare when it came to a particular Brett Yang - but the unwavering steadfastness continued to persist in Eddy, especially when he knew it was something that was reasonable and possible in the first place.