Hollow Souls

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Spencer

Three months after Deiamia's death

I didn't quite know how I'd gotten to the roof of the palace, entirely alone. Nothing but my own terrible thoughts for company. At least someone would care about me in the end of this. No one in this place cared if I lived or died. My parents were dead. I had no friends. My mate hated me. The last thought hurt the most. Everything I'd done, I done it to try and keep her and her family alive. She'd turned around and thrown it in my face. I didn't blame her. I deserved for my mate to hate me. I deserved the disgust I'd seen in every look she'd given me until she'd left for the summer court. I deserved all of that and so, so much worse. Stepping to the edge felt easy. I didn't look back. No one cared enough to try and stop me. Even the guards, sworn by blood oaths to the throne to protect me, left me alone. Few things flowed through my mind. Grey eyes, fury dancing in them. Blonde hair, whipping around as the girl ran. One memory in particular surfaced.

I'd gone to her cell, having the intent to heal her back.
I had let myself slip into the mask I'd become so accustomed to wearing. I'd let myself act like a bastard towards her. Towards Lilah. Towards the one person I'd cared most to protect.
'Why don't you go be Deiamia's fuck toy or go do whatever the hell you do while the rest of us are stuck here.'

Her words had struck me. That was the moment I realized how much she had truly hated me.

I had just moved my foot off the edge when I heard the footsteps.
"Spencer." Emily. "Don't."

I just shook my head, looking straight ahead of me as I made to move my other foot. A hand gripped my wrist just as I started to fall. A second hand gripping my fingers, trying to hold on.
"Please." She held onto me, seeming like she barely dared to breathe.

"I have nothing to live for Emily. You know that as well as I do." Her grips tightened at my words.

"She'll see the truth Spencer. You have to give her that chance. If you die, she'll one day die hating you." Each word was strained, as if she was more focused on holding onto me with a death grip than her words.

"And that is exactly what I deserve." I let my hand go flat, knowing it would eventually slip from her grasp.

"Please. Please Spencer." Her voice was soft now. "If you won't do this for Lilah then do it for you. This," She looked down at me, passed me, and to the ground. "Is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Just please stay. Your parents didn't die for you to kill yourself. Jacob didn't die just so that Lilah could hate you. Lilah didn't give her life for your court just for you to take your own. We both know that she is your mate and that you are hers. Show her that you are not what she thinks. Fight for her. Fight for yourself. Just please, climb back up." I studied her face. Studied the hazel eyes, filled with tears that threatened to fall. "Please." She whispered, the word nearly lost in the wind. "It is your power to heal and yet you remain broken. Let Lilah see that she is wrong. And she can heal you. I know her well enough to know that she will fight for you." Her face filled with pain and her words truthful, I nodded, gripping the edge of the roof and pulling myself back up, her grabbing my arms to help.

She swallowed a sob once we were away from the edge and I realized, Emily said she didn't have family. Yet Lilah was her family. Lilah may not be her only family, but she meant a lot to Em. And the idea of something happening to effect those she cared about. She'd do anything for Lilah. Including keeping me alive.

"I'll try." I murmured, glancing down.

"And that is all I am asking you to do." Her hand still gripped my arm, squeezing slightly harder at every word.

Lilah

Something seemed to fall in my chest, yet I didn't know why. Emotions slammed through me, there and gone in a blink. It was almost like I'd slammed into an invisible wall. I had stumbled slightly, nearly falling into Sunset. She'd caught me, keeping me upright.

"Li?" She only stared at me for a moment as I let a smile settle back onto my lips. In these months I'd let a mask settle over my features. "You ok?"

"I'm fine." I shook my head, though my heart was pounding quickly in my chest.

She nodded slowly before letting go of my arm. She seemed to believe it but gods, I didn't believe it myself.