Hollow Souls

•15•

Lilah

A week after Deiamia's death

I couldn't breathe. Her hand was around my throat, squeezing tighter and tighter at every gasp, every plea that passed through my lips. I clawed at her hand before her knees pinned my arms down. Tears spilled from my eyes as a scream sounded from my throat, her hand tightening-

I actually screamed, bolting upright and bringing my hand to my throat. I didn't recognize where I was, even as there were hands on my shoulders.

"Lilah. Lilah look at me." I shook my head, trying to shove them off.
"Lilah it's James. It's James look at me." He grabbed my wrists loosely. "Look at me. You're ok. You're ok. Look at me. You're home. In the summer court you're home. You're in your bed. Listen to my voice alright? Just listen to me. I'm right here." He set a hand on my cheek, turning my head to look at him. "Look at me. It's James. Your brother." He wrapped his arms around me as I collapsed against his chest. "Shhh. You're ok. You're ok no one can hurt you. You're safe. You're home."

I set my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. I could feel myself shaking as I gripped his shirt.
He pet my head gently, holding me close. "You're ok." He murmured softly.

"I couldn't breathe. She- she had her hand around my throat and I- I." I brought a hand to my throat, pressing my forehead against his shoulder.
"It's ok Li." He brushed his fingers through my hair slightly. "Do you want a drink?" He asked softly.

"Don't let go... don't let go." I almost entirely blocked out everything, gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly.

"I won't. You're alright Lilah. You're safe."

"Safe." I repeated quietly.

"Yes. You're safe now. I've got you ok? No one can hurt you anymore. Do you want to go downstairs?" He asked softly, to which I nodded. He picked me up like I weighed nothing, his arm under my knees. "Let's get you something to drink ok?"

"Ok." I murmured. He walked downstairs with me in his arms. I was set on the couch, a blanket wrapped around my shoulders.

"I'll go get you a glass of water ok?"
I nodded, curling my knees to my chest.

He nodded softly and walked into the kitchen, lighting a candle before doing so. Even in the light I watched the shadows. How they distorted images of furniture, books, pictures. Shadows. Darkness. It ate at me. It broke me. It snapped me apart piece by piece. Eventually there won't be anything left. Nothing but a shell. I picked at the edge of the blanket, not allowing myself to look into the shadows, the darkness. The very things that had started killing me months ago. From the moment I yelled my name at that woman. From the moment I agreed to her deal. It started killing me. Each task dragged me closer and closer to breaking. Physically. Mentally. I had scars. Yet not all scars are visible.

James

Her hands shook when I handed her the glass, enough that I thought she might drop it. She stared at the candle light, her face mostly neutral, almost bored. I was frightened truthfully. At what had become of my sister. She used to be so full of life, so happy. Even when she wasn't happy she'd simply pick up a pencil and start drawing. Now she could barely hold a pencil. Barely hold a book open long enough to get through three pages. I sat down next to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. She leaned into me slightly and I could feel her shaking.

"I'm scared." Those were the first words she'd said since we'd been upstairs.

"I know." I hated seeing her like this. She hadn't been herself since the day we went to that party. "I know Li." I could see the water in her glass rippling as she shook and I took the cup from her, setting it down on the table in front of us. She gripped my hands tightly.