Versed

XVI

Eric has been gone all day, it is now three in the morning and I'm up alone; I thought I'd wait up for my husband tonight since things seem to be getting better. Last night he actually looked like he wanted to kiss me but then he shied away almost like he was remembering his grandmother his features looked so saddened. I never anticipated that he'd be coming home this late. I called the restaurant looking for him and they said he hadn't come in today. I'm still so worried about him, he smiles then it falters and then I manage to get things feel like normal then he's back into his dark place. He's also been so apologetic and I feel like something is up. It's almost like he's trying so hard to stay in his negative head space. To be honest, I can't handle dark Eric as the seasons change I have to begin preparations for my college classes. 

Glancing at the time, I realize just how late it's gotten perhaps I should get off to bed. Just as I get up from the sofa my subconscious spews disturbing thoughts. 'Coming home late could only mean one thing right? I'd have to be an idiot not to suspect something considering our history.' He's been so nice lately after being so cold and distant. Adding on the fact that he's been gone all day after having such a great few days. My jealousy is raring its head or is this my paranoia? Am I going crazy? Perhaps I should just get some rest.

Though I now know I should sleep my heart and body seem to believe I need to stay because I find myself sitting right back down. These last few days he's been getting phone calls at all hours and ignoring them. Today he said he had things he had to take care of but I know nothing takes this long. Unless he's hurt somewhere and I'm just being a cliché paranoid wife. Maybe I should start calling hospitals and watching the news.

The door opens and he slips in taking off his shoes and he looks up to me finally seeing that I'm in the room. He looks away his eyes darting around the room. He drops his keys on the stand before coming further inside the living room. Well he's not hurt or dead in a ditch.

"Eric where have you been?" I can feel the anger rising from the pits of my stomach, my skin feels like it's getting hot. He looks dewy and his eyes are glossed over. He seems to be in some discomfort but overall he is smirking. How smug can he be right now? 

 "Eric, where the fuck have you been?"

"Maia...."

Not allowing him continue speaking, I ask again. "Where have you been?"

"I just went to tie up some loose ends, no need to worry. I went and got some help." He says gesturing to his head.

Calming down a little I rationalize, okay maybe he's not sleeping with Aurora maybe he's just seeing a therapist. That red haired woman who seemed to be more into females than males. No, he's not being unfaithful I am being unbelievably paranoid. Besides he's told you he feels nothing for her, my subconscious helps to remind me. There is nothing there, he's not worried about her he's grieving. He just needed help which means he's getting better.

"But you've been gone all day and it's now three in the morning you weren't at work I called."

He sighs, "I just was driving around after the appointment and I visited her grave."

I instantly feel bad "Oh I'm sorry. I hope you mentioned me."

He nods, "I did, so why are you up at this hour?"

An embarrassed laugh escapes me, "I was waiting up for you and then it became speculating. I thought maybe you might've been cheating on me which is totally cliche and ridiculous. You wouldn't be that stupid."

That's when I see it. Something on his features and his body seemed to have gone rigid. He's standing different and he clears his throat only proving my suspicions. I take in a sharp breath, oh my god it's true he was cheating on me. He did cheat. Was that the help he sought out? Did he go to someone I know or someone I don't know? Am I supposed to be dealing with this for the rest of our lives? He clenches his jaw looking down before looking right back eat me. This is the most like himself he's been in days.