deceived.// A$AP Rocky

twenty.

I can't remember the last time I had run that fast. I practically flew down the stairs, headed into the direction I thought Rakim had chosen. After a few turns, I suddenly noticed his silhouette, leaning against a wall.

I caught a glimpse of two other boys. They looked like Derek and Jordz, I could barely make out their faces in the dim light. "But who's gonna save you now, little boy? Not that whore Zara that you love so much, not your stupid Mob, not your momma, nobody", Jordz said scornfully.

"Call her a whore one more time and I'll rip your fucking mouth out of your ugly ass face", Rakim hissed. Jordz let out a raspy laugh, the volume of the horrible sound escaping his mouth increasing as he pulled out the gun.

I knew what he was about to do.

I just couldn't move.

I was just too far away.

A gunshot.

A second gunshot.

Rakim gasped, his legs gave in and his body fell into the dirt as a wheeze full of pain and disbelief escaped his throat.

"Die slowly, motherfucker", Jordz spat, and together with Derek, he fled the scene.

Blood was surrounding him. I ran up to him, kneeled beside him, and laid his head into my lap. "Rakim!". He just gazed at me with an empty stare, and I had to watch how his eye movements slowly became rigid. "Rakim, I'm sorry...I love you too", I sobbed, but there was no answer. 

I immediately called 911, my cold, shaking fingers moving too slowly for the thoughts in my head.

"I love you", I whispered again, the dark feeling that I would never get a reply taking over.

Where the fuck was the damn ambulance?

The blood continued to flow out of the right side of his chest, the sticky substance started to dye my clothes in a dark red, leaving stains that smelled like rusting iron.

It was silent, my heart getting heavier and heavier. "You have to make it, I can't lose you a second time. I'm sorry for rejecting you, I was frightened you were going to lie again. But I know you wouldn't, please, say something", I sobbed. 

This couldn't be. We never even said goodbye.

But his eyes were rigid, looking up into the night sky, blood dripping from his torso. Rakim's mouth was still open, he looked like he had been frozen the moment Jordz had shot him. 

There was no breath, no movement. 

His body was lifeless, the dark clothes soaking from the blood. I could have prevented him from this. It was all my fucking fault. I screamed, a scream filled with pain, regret, and sadness. How the fuck was I gonna live my life without talking to him ever again?

Out of his left eye, a single, silver tear escaped and dropped on the dirt of the street.

So gangsters do cry, after all.

//

I lowkey cried writing this chapter