Always Yours

Eight- Sophia

I make my way through the mass of bodies crowding the sidewalk once I leave our office. I am usually at home by the time rush hour rolls around, but I was held up on a long video meeting with a client. I just want to be home with some wine and a good movie already. It's only Tuesday and I feel like it's been the longest week ever.

A higher power must have been on my side this evening because I was able to catch a cab within a few moments of me motioning for one. Unfortunately, this cab driver is extremely talkative. Normally I can keep a conversation going, but not tonight-which of course makes me feel bad. I am just beyond exhausted after running into Logan yesterday and I have failed at keeping him out of my mind since our meeting. Ugh, how pathetic am I?

I finally arrive at my apartment building and I can just hear my pajamas calling my name! I grab my mail from my box and thankfully find myself alone in the elevator.

As I am walking down the hallway to my apartment, I look up and see Oliver standing outside of my door. Wait, did we have plans tonight that I am forgetting about? I pause for a moment to check my phone, and I see a bunch of texts from him that I never read. The last few were about him coming over to the apartment and then that he was here wondering where I was. Shit. I need to check my messages more often. I could've saved myself the interaction tonight honestly. I am just not feeling it, but I guess I can't be rude and send him home immediately. What kind of girlfriend would that make me?

I sigh and continue to walk towards my door. He looks over at me as I get closer and he looks so excited to see me. Why do I not feel excited to see him? "There you are! I was wondering when you were gonna show up tonight," he chuckles as he leans in and pecks my lips. "I'm so sorry, I wasn't checking my phone like I should've, and I was hung up with a meeting later than normal. I didn't realize you were planning on stopping by tonight.," I say as I insert my key into the lock and open my door. He follows me inside.

"Is it okay that I'm here?" He laughs nervously. "Yea, it's fine. I just had a long day, so I probably won't be too much fun. I kinda want to just veg out on the couch tonight." I give him a soft smile. "Actually, today sorta sucked for me, so I am good with vegging out together. Have you eaten lately?" "Not since lunch honestly, but I am not sure how hungry I really am." "Well let's order something simple and lighter, my treat." I smile bigger and agree- food usually cheers me up. We decide on a local sushi place. Funny enough, I don't like seafood. At all. But I do love me some avocado and cucumber rolls.
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We ate our food and had started watching a movie. I begrudgingly let him choose the movie this time. I swear he has a serious crush on Matt Damon and insists on us watching The Bourne Identity. Not to say I am not a fan of Matt Damon... but this movie just doesn't do it for me.

Unfortunately, this allows my mind to wander since I am not paying any attention- not exactly what I needed right now either. Of course, Oliver notices this eventually. "So hey, I didn't want to bug you about this at all, but did you think anymore about us taking the next step and moving in together? I'd really like to see you more often." UGH. Maybe there isn't a higher power on my side tonight after all. Well, here goes nothing. "Um, yes. I've thought really hard about it. Unfortunately, I just don't think I am quite ready for that yet. I'm sorry."

He stiffened and sat there quietly, staring forward. I know what I just said hurt him. I let him take it in for a moment before I continued. "I just am not sure if I am ready to take that big step. Especially with our ridiculous schedules we have. We'd most likely just pass by each other every day. I haven't had the best of relationships in the past, and I think I'd need more time before we actually did this."

He was still silent, but I don't think he looked upset anymore. He looked a little... angry? I wasn't expecting that. I sat there staring at him waiting for a response. After what seemed like a few minutes, he finally broke his silence. "So, you don't feel like moving in with me after over a year of us dating.... because of your past relationships and our schedules?" I'm now the quiet one, but it's mainly because I am not used to hearing him in this tone. "You realize that our schedules aren't likely to change in near future, right? So, are you never going to be ready to move in with me?"