MasterMind

Chapter 17

Atathum struggled to get up. Pain was searing throughout his neck. He clutched the ground.
"DON'T THINK THAT YOU WILL WIN THIS, ATATHUM!!" Gül screamed in his head.
Atathum collapsed to the floor once more. His arms were like jelly anytime he tried to push himself up. He looked up.
Lilak and Sebellrae were looking at him. Sebellrae turned on her lightsaber...
and her eyes were white.
Sebellrae got closer to him.
"Please, don't," Atathum said to her through the Force, "It's me."
Sebellrae looked at him, unsure. He made sure his eyes gave the impression of I'm-not-joking-it-is-me-does-my-pain-look-like-I'm-joking? Something jabbed into his neck. He fell back down.
"GIVE IN, ATATHUM!!" Gül hissed, sending his fingers into Atathum's neck.
Atathum jerked to the side. He looked up to see Lilak staring down at him.
"I mean, I want to say a joke to you right now, but I can see you're in actual pain, and I'm feeling bad for you," Lilak said.
Sebellrae approached Atathum. Atathum's body jerked again. The pain increased as he watched Sebellrae kneel by his left side, with Lilak kneeling in front. He felt slightly awkward with his friends kneeling beside him, and he was the older one. This is better than having Gül in your head.
"I HAVE NEVER LEFT!" Gül exclaimed.
He was thrown to the other side, then the other side, and back to the other. Gül's not haven' it. He thought of how Auric would've reacted, then he thought of what happened, and his heart broke. The thought of those padawans and masters, especially Ephron, the three-year-old, and that two-year-old, ending their lives before they could even experience going on a mission, or that three and two-year-old didn't even have a master.
He just ended kids with a dream lives.
His body was thrown again.
"Quit it, Gül," Atathum whispered so that no one could hear it.
He went to push himself up with his arm, but it was almost as if Gül knocked his arm out from beneath him. His head jerked back when he hit the floor again. He felt an arm reach under his.
"Atathum, if you manage to beat Gül, you owe me a bear-claw doughnut," Lilak said, trying to help Atathum get up.
Atathum wanted to respond in a joking matter, he wanted to experience some joy, but Gül, obviously ticked off, sent pain throughout his body. Atathum winced. He managed to make himself kneel for at least a second before Gül threw him to the ground. He suddenly had a memory from the past as his body violently shook on the floor.
He was in a forest, with thick shrubs and dense trees, and a small wooden hut in the clearing. He looked down at his hands and arms.
Nothing.
I'm still me, but before I was three, if my three never happened.
Looking back up, he watched as his three-year-old self walked holding his mother's hand.
"Where are we going, Mama?" little Atathum asked.
"The the local med bay," his mother replied.
"Why?"
"I have to study something there."
"What are you studying?"
"Something hard for you to understand."
"Nothing is too hard for me, Mama!" Little Atathum moved his hands on his hips to make him look powerful and intelligent. He had a giant grin on his face.
His mother chuckled. "I'm sure you are able to understand a lot of things, Attie, but this is really hard, something that mama hardly understands!" his mother said, exaggerating the end.
"Whoa," little Atathum replied, shocked that not even his mother understood something.
"Yeah, amazing, isn't it?"
"Yeah."
"Well, are you ready to head for the city?"
"Does Daddy know?"
"Yeah, he'll be fine with it."
The two continued walking. Atathum watched as his mom smiled down at his little self. He tried to remember what happened next.
So, we walked to the med bay, my mom was studying with another person, who I now
believe was also a Jedi, and they were studying on a man, shaking violently, and--
Suddenly, he was wisped to the med bay. He watched as little Atathum sat towards the back, while his mom and a few others studied on a man seeming to be having a seizure.
"Is it a seizure?" His mom asked.
"Honestly, we don't know what is happening. He doesn't have the diagnosis of a seizure," someone replied.
"Then what is it?"
"We ran some tests, and they seem to show a life form, but that couldn't be possible, could it?" a different person said, looking straight at his mom.
His mom reached her hand out, touched the man, and moved her hand back to her side.
"He is," she replied.
"He is what?" the others asked.
"He has another life form in him, but it's only emotion."
"How is that possible?"
"He allowed his emotions to take control, and when he tried to regain control, the emotions weren't thrilled, and are forcing him to accept it's control again by torturing him."
Atathum gasped. He knew now why his mind brought him here: it needed to show him how he could defeat Gül!
"How do we cure him?" a person asked.
"Remind him of a past thought, something happy, something that meant to him sometime in his life," his mother said, slightly flailing her hands.
"But, we know nothing of this man."
"Then do something about it."
"Mama?" little Atathum asked.
Everyone turned to him. Little Atathum seemed to rock slightly in his seat. His mother walked up and kneeled in front of him.
"What is it, Attie?" she asked.
Atathum knew what happened next. How he wanted to burst into tears, how he wanted to yell at his mother for not giving the people a simpler cure, how he wanted to describe everything he was hearing inside his head...but he never said any of it.
"Will he be okay?" little Atathum asked.
His mom paused. "Yes," she finally replied, "he'll be alright, Attie."
Atathum wanted to tell his mom that she was wrong, and that the man would eventually get so tired with fighting the emotions, that he would walk out of there, out onto the street, and get hit by a low-flying speeder, while little him with his mom watched, walking home from eating a bear-claw doughnut.
And how she would die soon after that.
Little Atathum seemed to ease slightly and nodded. His mother stood up and walked back. The man seemed to be asleep.
"We believe he is better now," someone said.
"Good, now, if you'll let me have time with my son, I shall go," his mom replied.
A man nodded, and his mom turned around.
"Hey, Eshmé!" someone called.
His mom turned back.
"You should suggest to give your son a bear-claw doughnut, you know, for the ride home."
"He loves them, I bet he would be thrilled to do that."
His mom turned back towards her son. He was looking at her.
"What did they say, Mama?" little Atathum asked, walking besides his mother.
"Would you like to get a bear-claw doughnut?" his mom asked.
"YYYIIIEEEAAAYYY!!" Atathum squealed, skipping speedily ahead.
"Slow down, Attie!" his mom called, laughing as she ran towards her over-the-moon son.
Atathum was almost in tears, and suddenly, the cure hit him. He hardly paid attention, but happiness seemed to be the key.
He at least hoped it was.
"Atathum," a voice rang out.
He felt pain start to creep back.
"Atathum," the voice called again.
The world started to fade out.
"Atathum," Sebellrae said, trying to shake Atathum back into consciousness.
He opened his eyes, and the routine started all over again. Gül seemed to have lost control of him while he was in his own memory, but now, he was awake, and stronger than ever. He threw his body again. Atathum tried to regain control again, but Gül wouldn't let him.
Something else was fighting for him, too.
"Atathum, do you hear me?" a voice echoed in his head.
Who is this?!
"I'm Kaaf Shi Tisumno, your Force Being, and I'm helping you fight Gül," the voice replied.
"Don't listen to her! She's lying to you!" Gül said.
"No, listen to me, Atathum."
"Listen to me."
Atathum felt he was in a game of tug-a-war, and he was the rope, slowly fringing in the middle, certain that if Kaaf Shi and Gül pulled any harder, he would tear straight down the middle. The pain was even worse having someone else trying to gain control. He felt his eyes flickering constantly, and he didn't know if was only Gül's eyes, or if it was his eyes, or Kaaf Shi's--if she had any--.
He grabbed a jagged item and dug it into his left arm, trying to steer the pain away from the rest of the body. His arm sleeve split open.
"Sebellrae, what's Atathum doing?" Lilak asked confused.
Atathum looked at the long line of blood in the middle of his arm.
Amidst all of his other scars.
"Lilak, don't you know what happened to him?" Sebellrae asked, having an idea why his arms were scarred.
"Sebellrae, I don't think that's the problem. He's probably thinking suicidal or something!"
"I'm trying to ease the pain," Atathum said, silently, but they could still hear him.
"That's not a good way to ease the pain," Lilak said.
"I know."
Gül threw him again, and then Kaaf Shi threw him, making him feel even more like a rag doll. He felt his eyes start flickering all over again. He tried to figure out a way how he could manage to stop them for fighting over him, and how he could defeat Gül. He remembered how is mom said that a good thought that reminded him of his happy life could work.
And it reminded him of something else that happened that day.
"Lilak," Atathum began.
Lilak looked at him. "Yeah?" she asked.
"Is it true?"
"Is what true?"
"What you did earlier, you know..."
"I don't know..."
"When we were in the hallway, and I was Auric, and you wanted to be like civilized padawans."
"Oh, yeah. The kiss. What do you mean is it true about it?"
"Do you..." Atathum was thrown again. "Do you actually like me?"
Lilak blushed. "Well...that was kinda a joke, but I, well...yeah. Totally breaking the Jedi Order."
Atathum felt something rip out of his back. He heard Gül screams fade into the background. He felt exhausted. He collapsed and sprawled out on the floor. Something hit him in the face. He opened his right eye.
His braid had hit him.
He was back to his old self again.

A/N: Geez, sorry my angst chapters are so long! I just enjoy writing those more :)