Haikyuu Oneshots

💫🔥 dirty joke headcanons (ft. Akaashi, Bokuto, Kuroo & Tsukishima) 🔥💫

request: could I request hcs for akaashi, bokuto, kuroo, and tsukki with a innocent s/o? maybe they say or hear a sort of dirty joke and it just completely goes over their head ? thank you ❤️

a/n: i originally started thinking about this a long time ago. And i had a couple jokes. yet cause its been so long I forgot and had to ask a friend for help. AND SHE GAVE ME MINECRAFT JOKES. They was all funny tho. I also feel like each one of these guys will try to keep their girlfriends innocent as long as possible because they find you cute when you're innocent and because you can't catch them off guard with nsfw jokes.

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Akaashi

- For this boy

- Akaashi wouldn't make the mistake of saying a dirty joke, he loves your innocence so he tries to safeguard you at all times.

- But when he's with Bokuto and Kuroo, the only thing he can do is pray.

- One day, Bokuto and Kuroo stayed the night at his place.

- And because your boyfriend got so distracted by Bokuto and Kuroo, he forgot you were coming over the next morning.

- Considering you and Akaashi have been dating for some time now he gave you a key to his house.

- So the next day when Akaashi, Kuroo and Bokuto woke up they smelled breakfast.

- "NANI? WHO'S COOKING CAUSE IT SMELLS GOOD!" Bokuto has never left is sleeping spot so quickly.

- Kuroo struggled a little to get up, cause he was trying to fix his untamed bed head, which could honestly never be tamed

- Meanwhile, Akaashi immediately started praying when he remembered you were coming

- "Hey Y/N!" Kuroo smirked as he sat down at the table.

- "Y/NNNNNNNNNNNN BREAKFAST SMELLS GOOD!"

- You blinked

- You just wanted to surprise your boyfriend with breakfast, and spend some quality time with him. So you didn't expect to be cooking breakfast for four.

- "I didn't know you guys were over here so I'm gonna have to cook more food." You smiled sheepishly at them.

- "That's okay! Take your time!" Bokuto smiled resembling a happy owl as he plopped down in a chair at the table.

- Kuroo sat next to him thanking you for cooking.

- When Akaashi sat down at the table, he was silent

- Yet he was watching Kuroo and Bokuto like a hawk. Or an owl, in this case.

- So when they both noticed, they were like "What?"

- "Nothing." Akaashi replied quietly as he continued to plead in his mind for them to keep it rated PG

- You know how some people have a filter? Kuroo's the type of person who filters himself around other people, but considering he just woke up his filter is still out the window.

- So when you asked Bokuto and Kuroo, "How do you like your eggs?" Akaashi panicked.

- Bokuto answered with the word, "Scrambled."

- Yet Kuroo, stared you in the eye.

- And because of the way he looked at you, Akaashi started praying even more

- However, he knew his prayers would fall on deaf ears.

- "Fertilized." He said before smirking at you.