I’ve never been a girl who knew herself as numbers on a scale, but I’ve noticed them go down. I’ve realized that my jeans don’t fit and my collarbone is more prominent than it used to be and I am terrified. I haven’t worked for this yet my friends say, ‘I’d give anything to lose weight without trying,’ but they don’t know. They don’t know that I’m not just losing weight, I’m losing pieces of my sanity. I’m losing all purpose and I’m left with the frightful need to do something… something… something, but nothing is ever the right thing. I can’t eat as much as I want to- sometimes I can’t eat at all, and I want so bad to be healthy but instead I’m just thin. I say this because the first time my aunt asked me if I’d lost weight I cried in my room, because this wasn’t my intention. Still my friends say, ‘I’d give anything to lose weight without trying,’ but I wish they wouldn’t. I know they shouldn’t.
