19 seems so young and so old at the same time. I don't really know who I am, right now, but I'm getting an inkling of who I'd like to be. She is brave, and beautiful, and loved. She is sunlight.
I think, perhaps, I am more like the moon. I go through phases and I hide. I'm more myself in the night, anyways, and during the day I'm just tired. I'm so tired of everything.
I'm tired of teenage dreams that will never be, because the earth keeps moving and suddenly I'm 19, and next year I'll be 20, and that'll be strange. You can say time isn't real, but it affects us all the same.
I'm getting ideas, though. Things I could do. Things I could be. At times I feel so far away, but at others I am happy with where I am now.
I looked in the mirror yesterday and couldn't stop smiling. I need to stop asking myself if I wasn't pretty enough for him, because I truly believe I am. I'm pretty enough. I'm more than enough. I am sunlight.
It's summer now, and the moon comes up long before the sun goes down anyways. Perhaps I can be both.
