you are loved. - r.lupin (ft. THE s.black)

red flags

"Moony, what's up with you?" James asked suddenly as the Marauders were getting ready for classes one morning. 

Remus put his tie on and tightened it perfectly, making his entire uniform look neat and crisp, despite the faded and outdated material. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Prongs," he answered.

"You know what I mean. It's like you started putting cocaine in your coffee or something. We all see it. Right, Padfoot?" James asked. Sirius stood in front of the full-length mirror by his bed and combed his gelled hair over and over again while admiring himself.

"It's not cocaine, our precious Prefect Moony couldn't possibly break the rules and do drugs. I think it's the dream girl he talked about a couple weeks ago. I think he's finally got her," Sirius smirked casually. He threw on his black leather jacket and watched Remus, who couldn't seem to surpress his wide grin.

"And you didn't think to tell the rest of us?" James dramatically gasped. Remus rolled his eyes and started organizing his books by the order of the classes in his schedule.

"She doesn't want us to go public. At least, not yet. When we do, you'll find out who she is," Remus stated. He finished stacking his books and put them neatly in his satchel, making sure not to dent or crease any of them. 

"Red flag," Sirius said in a sing-song voice. "If she doesn't want to go public, that probably means she doesn't want to be seen with you."

"It's not like that," Remus countered hotly. "She does want to be seen with me, I know she does." He swiped the Marauder's Map off James' nightstand and shoved it into his pocket so none of them could track him while he was with Caroline. 

"Tell us about her then," Sirius demanded.

"She's perfect," Remus sighed dreamily. He stopped messing around with the items in his bag and laid on his bed. "She told me she liked my scars, she likes when I read to her, she likes talking to house elves, she hates pollution, she likes tucking my hair behind my ear, she's absolutely perfect. She's everything to me."

"You're so whipped!" Sirius exclaimed, letting out a bark-like laugh. James laughed along while Remus blushed profusely.

"Shove off. In 4 years or so, you'll be single and I'll be married to her."

"You want to marry her?" James asked. They were so young and all of the Marauders had thought about marriage from time to time but the only person who had actually found someone that he was sure he wanted to marry was James, who didn't know if that would ever happen because Lily seemed to be repulsed by him.

"I do," Remus said confidently.

"Well, before you get to marriage, you should go public with her," Sirius snorted. "If she doesn't want to go public, then I suggest you throw your dreams of getting married and having children down the drain."

"Pads, don't crush the man's dreams," James hissed. "Moony, I'm glad you're finally happy and I would like to meet this girl that's making you extremely high but for now, I can wait. Maybe you guys will be like me and Lily one day. I do agree with Padfoot though. You should talk to her about why you guys can't go public."

"Alright," Remus said and let out a defeated sigh. "I'll talk to her about it later."

---------------

Caroline felt someone grab her wrist and she was pulled from the busy corridor into a dark broom closet. She smiled and cupped Remus' face, bringing him closer to her. Caroline eagerly kissed him and dropped her school bag onto the floor so there wasn't anything holding her down.

Remus returned the kiss but then he snapped back to reality and pulled away. "I didn't pull you in here to just snog, Caroline. I want to talk," Remus said.

Caroline frowned when he called her by her first name instead of the usual nickname and her hands fell back to her sides. "Is there something wrong with my snogging?" she asked.

"No, there's nothing wrong with your snogging. I like snogging you and it's quite nice, actually. There's really nothing wrong with it, we shouldn't stop doing it. I wish I could snog you all the time," Remus rambled. "That's not what I wanted to talk about though. I want us to go public."

"You know I can't do that, Remus. I have the pact with Lily and Marlene," Caroline said. 

"I'm sure they'd understand. They'd be happy for you, happy for us."

"I don't know, Remus." Caroline bit her lip and Remus' face fell but he doubted she could see his unhappiness in the darkness.

"Do you not want us to go public? If we just announced our relationship, we wouldn't have to kiss in closets and we wouldn't have to meet in the Prefects bathroom and we could finally go to Hogsmeade together," Remus sighed.

"Where is this coming from? You said you were fine with kissing in closets and meeting in the Prefects bathroom."

"At the time, I was okay with it. But now I want more," Remus insisted. "I want to be able to kiss you before classes and kiss you good morning at breakfast instead of just saying good morning. I want to go on a date with you at Hogsmeade and I want you to be my girlfriend."

"Remus, I want that too. That sounds nice but just not now."

"Why not?" Remus asked angrily. He was starting to get annoyed with her avoiding the topic or shutting him down and he wanted to know why.

"If you weren't okay with doing things in secret, you should've told me earlier before..." Caroline trailed off and she covered her face with both of her hands to calm herself down.

"Before what?"

"Before we actually did anything, Remus."

"We didn't even shag," Remus said. He was hurt by her words and he most definitely didn't regret anything but Caroline might say otherwise.

Caroline removed her hands from her face and let out a huff. "That doesn't make it any worse! I have been snogging you and doing other things with you when you are my brother's best friend! When he finds out, he's going to kill both of us!"

"Caroline, don't avoid the question. Can we go public?" 

"I think we can go public. But Remus, be completely honest with me. Do you want to go public? Do you want my brother to know and possibly ruin your friendship with him? Are you okay with that? Because if you are, then we will go public," Caroline insisted.

Remus pursed his lips together in thought. He wasn't ready for Peter to know and he definitely wasn't ready for Sirius to know. They were his best friends and they could leave him for finally getting the girl he fancied. "Remus, answer me. Please," Caroline begged.

"I don't want to go public," Remus whispered.

"And that's perfectly fine. We will go public after the six month pact ends or we will go public whenever you're comfortable with it," Caroline suggested. She gently pecked his lips but he didn't bother to kiss her back. "I have to get to class but I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Yeah," Remus answered. Caroline picked her bag up from the floor and left the broom closet. Remus stood alone in the dark place knowing that Caroline wasn't the one sending out red flags. It was him.