you are loved. - r.lupin (ft. THE s.black)

flashbacks

Caroline was studying in the common room with Lily when Sirius Black came down the staircase that led to the boys dorm. "Hey, Care. Can I talk to you for a second?" Sirius asked.

The blonde nervously glanced at Lily, who nodded encouragingly. She stood from her seat and flattened out her skirt with her hands. "Yeah, sure."

She followed Sirius out of the common room and Remus enviously watched them leave from his view at the top of the boys staircase. They walked together and sat on a bench in the schoolyard, knowing that no one would interrupt them because it was time for breakfast in the Great Hall.

"I know you've probably suspected this," Sirius started. His hands trembled slightly and he eagerly rubbed them over his pants in hopes to calm himself down. "Over the past months, with our picnics and our small talks during classes, I've fallen completely in love with you."

"Now, obviously, t-this was going to happen. Because you're an angel, with that face and that hair," Sirius stuttered. "But, even if you didn't have a nice face and even if you had absolutely no hair due to some bizarre medical reason."

Caroline laughed and Sirius smiled at the comforting sound, hoping that it would last forever. But like most things that made him happy, it disappeared just as quickly as it came.

"I'd still adore you. And I was just wondering, is there any possibility that you could ever feel that way about me?" Sirius asked.

Caroline bit her lip and Sirius watched her in anticipation. The Black boy thought he would be rejected and cried to himself in his dorm later but he didn't know for sure until Caroline answered. "I think there is a possibility in the future," Caroline said finally, causing Sirius to grin widely. "It's not a yes or a no, just a maybe. And just not right now. I'm still getting over someone."

"Wood?" Sirius guessed. "Did you know he got kicked off the team? Something about breaking one of the brooms."

"Huh, that's probably why I didn't see him playing at the last quidditch match," Caroline realized aloud. "We should probably get to breakfast now."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "I don't mean to push, Care, but do you have any idea when you'll feel the same about me?"

"I don't know, Sirius. I think we'll find out in good time," Caroline huffed.

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Remus was pleased to find his normal seat open in the Great Hall that morning. The sandy-haired boy thought that Sirius would take his seat next to Caroline but his best friend sat in his original seat. Remus sat on the bench with Caroline right next to him and Caroline must've noticed his presence because she turned her head and smiled at him. Remus didn't return the smile and just looked away, causing the blonde to frown slightly.

Piles of freshly cooked food appeared in front of them and Caroline grabbed some french toast. She wasn't starving from not eating dinner but her stomach was forcing her to eat something. It kept making weird grumbling sounds and the blonde didn't want that to happen during class.

Remus tried to glance at the beautiful girl discreetly but it was no use because once he looked at her, he couldn't stop. He could stare at her for hours, even days if he wanted to because she was just so beautiful that he wouldn't mind.

Caroline managed to eat two bites of her french toast but couldn't force herself to eat anymore. She put her fork and knife down and grabbed her bag from under the bench. She stood up and was about to leave but someone stopped her.

"Care, where are you going?" Lily asked. The redhead had noticed her friend not eating and she didn't know what to do about it. The rest of her friends suddenly turned their attention to Caroline. "You've barely touched your food," she added.

"I'm going to go to Transfiguration early so I can study," Caroline explained quickly.

Sirius immediately stood and grabbed his bag from under the bench across the table. "Let me come with you-"

"Sirius, it's fine. I prefer to study alone," Caroline huffed. She nervously glanced at Remus, who seemed to be more interested in his food than her, and smiled at Sirius. "I'll, um, I'll see you guys in class."

The sixth year walked off in a hurry and Sirius sat back down and dropped his bag on the floor. "So, how did your talk with Caroline go?" James asked, trying to change the subject.

"She said maybe in the future, maybe she'll fancy me back, maybe we have potential," Sirius sighed in a defeated tone. "All she's giving me is maybes and not a single yes. She said she is still getting over someone."

Remus heard this and he wasn't sure if he was supposed to be sad or happy. Caroline had rejected Sirius because of him, which meant he was supposed to be happy because Caroline still thinks about him. But Caroline said she was still getting over someone, which meant he was supposed to be sad because she'll eventually move and forget all about him.

He was consumed by his thoughts when Sirius shook him and told him that they had to go to class now. The boy walked to class with his eyebrows knitted together and his lips pursed, still in his own thoughts.

He sat in Transfiguration and looked at the desk in front of him blankly. Normally, he would take this time to glare at Sirius and Caroline, who were in the front of the room, but he was contemplating whether or not Caroline would ever feel a certain way about him. Whether or not Caroline would ever love him.

Sirius kept distracting Caroline the entire class so she wasn't able to completely focus on the lesson. "Care, this is stupid. Transfiguration is like the easiest class ever," Sirius whined.

"It's not the easiest for me so can you stop," Caroline hissed angrily.

"Alright, fine." Caroline turned her attention back to the board and copied the notes again in hopes of understanding them more. It was no use though because she still didn't know what any of the diagrams or the words meant.

Sirius easily transfigured his spider into a teacup and glanced over at Caroline. Caroline's spider kept moving around so she couldn't even get the chance to try and transfigure it. Class ended shortly after and Sirius walked off but Caroline still couldn't change the spider. "You stupid bug!" she shouted. "Can you just change for me?"

"I don't think it likes being yelled at," Remus joked. Remus had stayed behind to turn in some extra credit homework and him and Caroline were the last two in the room. He finished packing up his books and walked to the front of the room where Caroline stood. "Do you want some help?"

"That would be nice," Caroline huffed. Remus carefully wrapped his hand around Caroline's so they were both holding her wand. He guided her hand and repeated the incantations that they were taught.

The spider that was moving around frantically suddenly stopped and in its place was a teacup. "Now, it's the same thing to turn it back," Remus explained. "I'll let you do that one on your own."

The Pettigrew girl attempted to turn it back but the teacup stayed perfectly still, not transforming at all. "Fuck," she whispered. "Teacup, turn back."

"Here, let me help you," Remus offered. He mumbled the directions of the wand and then guided her but didn't perform the incantation to turn it back so Caroline could do it. "Now try it again."

Caroline attempted to turn it into a spider again and this time it worked. She scooped up the spider and put him in her little container happily. The blonde got up and placed the container on Professor McGonagall's desk with the rest of them.

She smiled to herself and remembered the time when Remus had helped her turn her desk into a pig back in September, which was the same day that they kissed for the first time. When Caroline finally turned back around to thank Remus, he was gone.