you are loved. - r.lupin (ft. THE s.black)

the kiss

Sirius dug his face into his pillow and groaned loudly. "This is probably the shittiest day I've ever had in my entire life," Sirius exaggerated, his voice being muffled by the pillow.

"What's wrong, Padfoot?" James called from his bed, which happened to be right next to Sirius'. Sirius flipped himself over in one motion and stared at the ceiling dramatically.

Remus was finishing reading Pride and Prejudice across the room while Peter was eating a chocolate bar on his own bed. James had nothing better to do besides listening to Sirius' problems and Sirius always had the most hilarious problems so it was very entertaining for James.

"James has already figured it out so I thought I should tell the rest of you now," Sirius said, still gazing at the blank ceiling. "I fancy Caroline!"

Peter looked up from his candy bar and bits of chocolate that cornered his mouth dropped onto his bed. Remus immediately bookmarked his page immediately and shut the book, throwing it across the room out of anger.

His book flew straight for James but the bespectacled boy managed to dodge it just in time. "What was that for, Moony?" James hissed. "Are you mad because I figured it out before you?"

"Something like that," Remus grumbled. He was originally sitting upright with his back on the headboard but he proceeded to slide down until he was lying flat on his back. The sandy-haired boy pulled the covers over his head and wished that he was dreaming right now.

Caroline would be happier with Sirius anyways, Remus thought to himself. He's much better than me and I never had a chance with my lyrancrothopy anyways. It was just wishful thinking. I should back off and let him live his life out with her.

"It's alright, Moony. Not everyone can be as smart as me," James boasted confidently.

Remus peeked his head out from under the covers and stared at Sirius strangely. "You didn't fancy her last year. What's changed?"

"I got to know her better," Sirius shrugged. "Now, I fancy her."

"Wait wait wait! Let's back up for a moment!" Peter spoke slowly. "You can't fancy my sister!" Peter's lips curled in disgust when he imagined one of his best friends with his sister. "Absolutely not! She cannot have you!"

"And why is that, Wormtail?" Sirius asked.

"Because she's my sister! She has everything I don't and the only thing she doesn't have is you guys! That's the one thing I have over her and I plan on keeping it that way."

"Relax, Wormtail. She doesn't have me or Remus," James said. Remus blushed slightly and covered himself with his comforter again, knowing he was absolutely smitten with the blonde.

"Pete, should I be concerned that you don't want me to be happy?" Sirius seethed, causing Peter to scoot away even though they were on different beds. "And it's not like it even matters anyways because I told her I had a date and now she's going with Moony!"

After he pointed it out, Sirius imagined Caroline with Remus instead of him and flipped himself back over so his face was in his pillow again. "I'm such an idiot!" Sirius screamed into the pillow.

"Her and Moony are just friends. Why would you even tell her you have a date?" James chuckled. "If Lily asked me, I would've told her I was free and then maybe she would've asked me to Hogsmeade."

"There's no way in hell she'd ask you to Hogsmeade," Remus chuckled under his comforter.

"I wanted to make her jealous," Sirius groaned. "I don't know what I was thinking because Caroline has never been a jealous person. She already has everything."

"See, even Sirius knows that Caroline has everything!" Peter whined. "That's exactly why you cannot date her or marry her or kiss her or snog her or even fancy her!"

"I can do whatever the hell I want, Wormtail!" Sirius shouted into his pillow.

"No you can't!" Peter screeched. "This is not America!"

"Just for trying to defy me, I think I'll shag her on your bed!" Sirius scowled. Peter's jaw tightened and he breathed out heavily through his nose. He didn't say anything else and just fell back on his bed angrily.

Remus felt like he wanted to throw up but he refrained from doing so and he swallowed his own spit. The werewolf slid out of the safe protection of his bed and threw his Gryffindor robes back on. "It's nice outside," he commented and gestured to the window where the sun came in through. "I think I'll go for a walk."

The sandy-haired boy left the room as quickly as possible and ran down the steps to the common room only to be met with the person of discussion. "Hello Remus," Caroline waved.

"Hello, darling. I'm going for a walk now, do you want to come along?" Remus offered, half-hoping she would say yes and half-hoping she would say no. If she said yes, he would get to spend more time with her. If she said no, he could think about his priorities and if Sirius is really more smitten with the girl.

Caroline popped up out of the chair and strode over to him, slipping her warm hand into his. "Let's go."

Remus felt his hand getting sweaty in hers but Caroline didn't seem to notice or she did notice and just didn't care. Caroline looked at the clear blue sky and the owls flying off in the distance. "I've been meaning to ask you about something," Remus said nervously.

"Ask away," Caroline giggled.

"Do you fancy anyone?"

Caroline's shoulders stiffened slightly and her dark eyebrows furrowed. Remus looked at her expectantly, ready for her to confess her feelings for his best friend. "Is it that obvious?" Caroline asked in a small voice.

"I wouldn't say so," Remus answered honestly.

"And what are your opinions?" Caroline asked. The blonde wanted to know if he felt the same way about her and if so, they could go to Hogsmeade together but as a date.

"M-my opinions?" Remus stuttered, wondering why she would want his advice about Sirius. If anything, she should go to James. Caroline nodded and Remus pursed his lips together in thought. "I think that whoever this person is, they probably fancy you back. And I think you should go for it because they probably think you're a perfect, amazi-"

Remus was cut off by a pair of soft lips on his. His brown eyes fluttered shut in bliss and Caroline's warm hands cupped his face gently. Caroline was on the tips of her toes because he was so tall but the sandy-haired boy craned his neck down slightly so it was easier.

After a few perfect seconds, Caroline pulled away and smiled sheepishly. Remus' eyes opened and they widened once he realized what he just did. He should've been viewing it as kissing the girl of his dreams. But instead, he was viewing it as kissing his best friend's crush and it made him feel like a horrible person and a horrible friend.

Caroline frowned at his reaction and her hands fell back to her sides. "Was it that bad?" Caroline asked. "The kiss, I mean."

"No that's not it," Remus replied very quickly. "It was a nice kiss, really. It's just- um- I just- heh," Remus awkwardly chuckled and raked a hand through his hair, something all of the Marauders did when they were stressed. "I thought we were talking about someone else."

"Oh," Caroline gasped. "Oh. Merlin, I'm such an idiot!" Caroline took a step back and grabbed the back of her head. "I thought you actually fancied me, I'm so stupid!"

"No, wait-"

"I thought because of the Amortentia last year and just now actually, when you kissed back, I don't know. And you call me 'darling' and you helped me with Transfiguration today and sometimes I think you watch me during meals," Caroline rambled, "but I think I was just hallucinating or something. Merlin, I am such an idiot!"

"You're not an idiot, darling-"

"Don't call me that!" Caroline said desperately. "Please don't call me that! This is just making it worse. Um, I-I have to go."

Caroline walked off and made her red striped tie looser, trying to get more air into her body. Remus leaned against the stone wall and slid down until he sat on the floor. The werewolf brought his knees up and rested his forehead on his knees in defeat.