A/n: rough edit. Also I recommend you listen to If I ain't got you by Alicia Keys when you get to that part. Trust me, you'll know what I'm talking about when you get there.
Elijah Reef
It's funny how time works. The way it seems to speed up or slow down but only in relation to your life. If you're happy, enjoying yourself, having fun, time flies. In the blink of an eye, it's over as if it never was.
But when things are tough. When you feel alone, when you need help, when you're dreading the next events of your life, time is slow. As if it's taunting you. Testing you. Torturing you.
Torturing me.
"Is everything okay at home?" My history teacher asked today after class. And I snorted to myself. He asked me like he could help me. He said he's noticed my demeanor change since the start of the semester.
I'll have you know Mr. Flint, that everything is in fact not okay at home. I live alone!
I sit in silence during the nights. I try not to focus on the shaky ceiling fans and running fridge because that's all I hear when I'm not forced to watch CNN news for his homework.
I'll have you know Mr. Flint, that everything is in fact not okay at home.
All I have is one week.
Time flies when you're having fun.
I let Mrs. Hayes talk me into living a little for the last two months and I did. I got attached to them and now look at me. She's leaving me. Noah's leaving me. And I have one week until I'm eighteen.
One fucking week.
"Of course," I smiled politely at Mr. Flint on my way out. "See you tomorrow sir."
As soon as my back faced him, my smile was gone.
I've heard people say that it takes more muscles to frown then smile. If that true then how is it so easy to let the smile slip. I don't have the energy to pretend I'm okay.
I'm drowning.
I went to work. I didn't think about, just go through the motions Elijah. That's what I have to tell myself over and over and over again.
I took my thirty minute break at 6 o'clock.
I went out back and sat at the empty patio and waited for the call.
It comes every weekday at 6:10 and these days it's the only reason I get up and out of bed in the morning.
I took a deep breath to control my voice and hide my pain. "Hey buddy!" I beamed into the phone. I closed my eyes and listened to his voice. I pretended we were together now.
"Hey Lijah!" I pictured his curls bouncing and his beautiful child like smile. My heart melted.
"I miss you! And I love you so much." I have to start with that and end with it. So he doesn't forget me or how much he means to me.
"I love you too. And guess what! We're going on a field trip on Monday!"
I gasped dramatically. "No way! Where are you guys going?"
I love talking to Kayson, it's therapeutic.
~~~~
I got home from work around ten and went straight to the shower.
After that and the ramen noodles I had for dinner, it was time to focus on adult things.
I sort of have a routine now.
