Noah
I'm not selfish.
Most of the time..
Actually that's a lie. I'm extremely selfish. I don't like to share. I put myself first. I've been like that all my life. Maybe that's why my mother and I's relationship can't seem to progress. And why I can't stand my dad. And why I pulled the box of pictures from the closet and decided that I wanted her in my life again. Even if I don't deserve her. Even if she doesn't remember.
I selfishly want her.
There has to be some universal reason why she's here right now. There has to be some reason that was beyond me as to why she's at my side right now.
So I watched her with hopeful eyes as she analyzed the photo I gave her. It was our first day hanging out outside of school. We were at the park, young Ellie was pushing me on the swings. I remembered that day like the back of my hand, but Ellie was deprived of the memory. And I no longer wanted her to be clueless. I needed her to remember.
Her eyebrows folded, her dark eyes scanning the photo. "Who are these people?" She quizzed.
I took a deep breath, knowing that once I answered her, I wouldn't be able to take it back. "That is..you and me."
It washed away. My hope, any hope that I ever had that she'd remember washed away as her face twisted in pure confusion. It hurt. I don't know if I expected her to magically come back to me after looking at one photo but one thing is for sure, it hurt.
My shoulders sank and my head lowered. "You don't remember." It wasn't a question because I knew she didn't, this is part of the reason I never came back. Maybe I'm too late.
Her eyes lifted to mine, her features shifted from confusion to determination, just by looking at my hopeless self. I missed her determination. I missed her compassion. I missed her. "Help me remember." She muttered slowly. She's so fucking precious. And she believes me, just like that. I don't deserve her. "..We were friends? Wh- what..happened?"
"We were bestfriends." I was desperate. "The best of friends for seven years. We grew up together."
Her eyes widened. Her chocolate dark irises staring at me with wild astonishment and confusion. "Seven years?" She repeated.
At that I pulled the rest of the photos out of the box. There was an indescribable amount to memories in there. The best decision I've ever made was befriending Elijah but making this box was a close second. It was the last piece of Ellie I had after she lost her memory.
I handed her the photos and spoke softly. "We did everything thing together." I watched her eyes scan the old faded photo of us in her backyard. We spent so many days in that backyard, created so many memories. That backyard was a sanctuary to me while it was just a backyard to her. "School dances, fifth grade graduation, first day of first grade..." I paused, watching her. Her familiar facial features clouded with astonishment. She was shocked. "We did everything together....until.."
Her eyes lifted to mine, and I realized I'd beg whoever was up above to let me have her again. Let my Ellie come back to me. "Until what?"
She was the real one affected but somehow I felt like I was the one in need of help. Like this was much harder for me than it was for her which was impossible.
