•1981•Nikki Sixx•

48. Good Times

17th January 1986

I hadn't seen Nikki in 2 weeks. I was living with Guns N Roses back at their house and Damon and Nick were with me.

I felt so much pain it hurt. It physically hurt. He lied to me for about a year and cheated on me.

Christmas this year wasn't as joyful and happy as it usually is. Nikki wasn't here. I hadn't spoke to him at all. He had tried to phone many times but I ignored the calls.

I was devastated. I could only do one thing at this point. Get a divorce. I couldn't be with him when he lied to me for so long but more importantly is still on drugs.

When he is clean, I will consider getting with him again. Today I was going to drop off the papers at his house. Mick is gonna come with me too.

I was a little mad at the boys. Why you may ask? Well because they knew he was doing these drugs and watched it happen.

Mick and I drove along the streets on the wag to my old house. I was nervous but distraught. A little tear escaped my eye and Mick noticed. He took my hand and looked me in the eye.

"It's all gonna be ok." He says.

I nod and take in a deep breath. There was a brief moment of silence before Mick spoke again.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I knew about it and I should have told you. We didn't know that you didn't know he was still on drugs until the end of the tour."

"Dad, this is none of your fault. Nikki could have gone to rehab but instead he decided to not and stay on the drugs. I love him with my full heart but I can't watch him do this to himself." I say.

"About him kissing girls i-"

"I'm mad at him for that too but  because of the drugs he loses his senses a bit. That's part of the drugs to blame." I say.

He nods in agreement and then turns on the radio. Smokin In The Boys Room plays and we both laugh and sing along.

The journey was short and sweet but soon we got to the house. My nerves got overwhelming at this point. I gripped onto the papers with fear and sadness.

I got out the car and Mick was about to get out too but I stopped him.

"Let me go alone and if im not out 20 minutes come in." I say.

He nods and smiles at me. I smile back and walk to the front door. I didn't even bother to knock. I just walked in and slammed the door behind me. I could hear chattering from the kitchen. I slowly walk through to see Nikki frantically on the phone. He looked like shit. His hair was a mess. His skin was pale and he was clearly on drugs.

He turns around and notices me. He hangs up the phone before starting to walk over to me.

"Ally-" he begins.

"Let me talk first, okay? I wanna make this as easy as possible. Here in my hand I have divorce papers. I want you to sign them. This doesn't mean i don't love you. I'm doing this for us. I can't watch you kill yourself." At this point I was full on sobbing." I am doing this so you can get clean and we can be together. When you are clean, we will be together." I say.

He looks at me with tearful eyes.

"But I need you." He says practically whispering.

"But you lied." I say.

I place the papers on the table and surprisingly he signs them. He looks at me as a tear escapes his eye.

"Do you promise you will come back if I get clean?" He asks.

"Nikki, I love no one else but you. I will wait." I say.

He nods looking at the floor. I pick up the papers and look at them.

"I'm gonna go." I say.

"Ok." He says.

I quickly leave and get into the car. Mick looks at me with a worried expression.

"Was everything ok?" He asks worried.

"It was fine dad. He signed the papers and we have made an agreement. It's all good." I say.

There is a moment of silence. Tears lightly fall down my cheeks.

"Ice-cream?" He asks.

I chuckle and nod lightly, wiping my tears.

"Ice-cream sounds great." I say with a smile.

~

After Mick and I went and got ice-cream we went to a music shop. There was a cherry red electric guitar which I took a liking to and Mick being the father he is bought me it.

He dropped me off at Guns N Roses house and I walk in.

I walk in to see the boys with Nick and Damon playing on the floor.

"How was it?" Asks Izzy getting up off the floor.

"It went ok, he signed the papers and we are all good. We have made an agreement." I say.

"That's good, what's that?" Asks Steven pointing to my guitar case.

"A new guitar!" I say excitedly.

"Really?" Asks Duff surprised.

"Yeah, look." I say taking it out the case.

"Wow, it's beautiful." Says Slash.

"It sure is." Says Izzy in agreement.

I laugh and look at my little boys who are on the floor laughing. I pick them both up and shower them with kisses. I walk up stairs and put them to bed before going into my room.

I sighed as I sat on my bed. I looked over at the guitar and picked it up gently. I tuned it and then started to play. Soon I had a sweet riff going and was singing some lyrics along with it.

"Wow.." I mumbled with a chuckle.

Before I knew it, it was 3:00am and I had written 4 songs.

Then that's when it hit me, I should make a band.
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