•1981•Nikki Sixx•

33. Christmas 1984

It has been 2 weeks since the crash and Razzle's death. There was a funeral. I couldn't stay for the full thing though, it was too hard. His funeral was on the 12th December. Hanoi Rocks have been with me a lot recently. So has Guns N Roses and the rest of the crüe. Nikki has been amazing recently. He's constantly helping Damon and I. He has been extra helpful knowing I'm pregnant.

After the funeral I told everyone I was pregnant. It brought a little bit of happiness in my life and others. I visit Vince regularly. He is very apologetic every time I see him. He thinks it's his fault. He gets out of jail on the 10th January, on the condition that he stays sober. I have helped Sharise a lot with Skylar since Vince isn't around. Actually so has Nikki, which I'm not gonna lie was surprising.

Anyways, tomorrow was Christmas. Damon's first Christmas. Nikki hated the idea, but I bought Damon, Nikki and I matching Christmas jumpers. I forced him to wear it. Obviously Damon didn't mind..

The tree was massive this year. We had decorations in the front lawn. It was a winter wonderland.

I put on my winter coat, my scarf and hat and closed the back door. I saw Nikki playing wish Damon in the snow. Nikki hand him resting on his leg as Damon reaches for the snow.
"Look at you two playing in the snow." I say walking over to them.
Damon looks at me and smiles. He puts his arms out for me to take him. I sit next to Nikki and he hands me Damon. Damon sits on my leg and continues playing with the snow.
"Look at us and our little growing family." Nikki Says looking at me and Damon. He then places his hand of my stomach. "And I can't wait to meet you."
I laugh lightly.
"So about the baby, you guys are gonna start working on an album right? So what is gonna happen when you go on tour?" I ask.
"Well, when I'm on tour the Nanny is gonna stay here. Obviously I will call everyday. We aren't gonna go on tour until you have the baby. Does that sound ok with you?"
"That sounds perfect, except Razzle and the crash things are going well." I say with a small smile.
"They are, your right."
I rest my head on Nikki's shoulder and shut my eyes.

Nikki's POV:

God she's so beautiful, she's an angel from heaven. I can't keep lying to her. She thinks I'm the perfect dad in the world but while she is grieving over her best friend and trying to take care of another baby I am shooting up heroin. How has she not noticed? I mean she's pregnant again and this is what I'm doing. Soon I was gonna have to come clean to her.

Ally's POV:

I had put Damon to bed and was walking back downstairs when I heard the door bell. I ran downstairs and opened the door to se Ren standing there. Then I remembered she doesn't know I'm pregnant.
"Merry Christmas! I know it's late but I wanted to give your present." She says smiling.
"Awww thanks, you wanna come in?"
"Nah I can't stay for long, the kids."
"That's fine, so how have you been?"
"Good! How have you been I mean Razzle and stuff.."
"It's been ok, pretty relaxed."
"Good!"
"I'm pregnant." I say.
"What?! OMG YOUR PREGNANT!"
She hugs me tightly.
"Yep I am!"
"That's amazing!"
"I know right!"
"Oh shoot I have to go but I will call you tomorrow!"
"Ok bye Ren."
"Merry Christmas Ally!"

I placed the present under the tree and sat next to Nikki on the couch. He pulled me close and hugged me.
"How you feeling?" He asks placing a kiss on my head.
"Ok, good actually. It's the first time I have felt good in a while."
"I'm glad. You need to get your rest for tomorrow, everyone's coming over."
"That's true, you coming up to bed?"
"Yeah."
We walked upstairs tiredly and got into bed. I hugged him tightly and he hugged me back.
"Goodnight Nikki."
"Goodnight Ally."
We fell asleep in each others arms.

I woke up the morning to see the snow falling lightly out of my bedroom window.
"Merry Christmas." Nikki Says.
He wraps his arms around my waist from behind.
"Merry Christmas." I whisper trying to get out of bed.
"No, no stay! Damon isn't awake yet and who knows when we can rest like this again." He says whining.
I settle back down into bed and close my eyes.

I woke up once again to see that Nikki wasn't beside me. I then hear the door slowly creek open and see Nikki with Damon in his arms. Damon was wearing his little Christmas onesie. I sit up in bed.
"Merry Christmas my little boy." I say.
He smiles with his dummy hanging out of his mouth. Nikki gives me Damon and I take him in my arms. I hug Damon and he rests his head on my chest.
"I love him so much Nikki. I can't put it into words." I whisper.
"Me too, he's our little angel."

After a while of hanging out as a family, we all went down stairs to open some Christmas presents. Damon got lots of toys, and I mean lots. The living room was filled with them. At about 3:00 everyone arrived. Hanoi Rocks was even here! We all sat around the table. Everyone had wine except me because of the baby. One of the annoying things about pregnancy is you can't drink. Steven got Damon lots of presents to do with dinosaurs. Dinosaurs are turning into Damon's favourite thing which worries me. I am not gonna have a dinosaurs obsessed son and childish friend. That's too many baby's to take care of.

Even though life is a little tough, in the end it's worth it to see these happy moments.
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