Hidden Within

9 | easier to pretend

"It's the first party of the school year," Delaney says to Grace as we sit in the food court at the mall, clutching her iced coffee in hand and her phone in the other as she gives our friend a pointed look. "What do you mean you don't want to go?"

"Well . . ." Grace trails off, shooting me and Bianca SOS glances. My gaze drifts to the tabletop, whilst Bianca stares off into the distance. Neither of us are willing to stand up to Delaney. My assumption is that Bianca is merely scared of her, as she should be. I, on the other hand, have reasons of my own that make me unwilling to cross Delaney these days.

"It's just . . . Ms. Lo is having this big start of the year practice test with an essay and everything, and I guess I just wanted to have time to study to make sure—"

"You want to skip the party to stay home and study?" Delaney cuts Grace off in disbelief.

"I—"

"We have to go," Delaney interrupts Grace once again. "I mean, we like, run the school. I can't have someone asking where you are and then have to tell them you're at home studying. That's so lame. Besides, I already told Jacob we'd be there, and you know how he is when it comes to his parties."

"Right," Grace says after a moment, nodding. "Yeah. Sorry."

"Whatever," Delaney says, tossing her hair over her shoulder and rolling her eyes. "I mean, you do what you want. I'm just saying. You two are still coming, right?"

"Duh," Bianca says in response to Delaney's question, smirking. "I need a good buzz after being back home. My mom is driving me loco."

"What about you, Hads?" Delaney asks. I don't like the look she gives me, gaze cold, lips tight. "Or do you have better things to do?"

"I'm going," I say, offering a smile that matches hers. "Wouldn't miss it."

"Good," Delaney retorts, rising from her seat. "Then we better get shopping."

I keep a distance behind the girls as I follow them to one of the nearest stores in the mall, lingering in my thoughts. When I returned home after my horrid summer, I'd assumed Delaney would have long since ditched me as a friend. I'd been shocked when I came back to a Welcome Home party thrown by my parents; finding my family, Delaney, Grace, and Bianca all perched in my living room, as if nothing had happened. Why Delaney would still choose to be my friend after what happened over the summer has always left me curious. If I had to guess, I suppose she just likes knowing she has dirt on me that she can use against me whenever she wants. I don't think Delaney wants friends as much as she wants servants who will obey her every command.

Why I choose to stick around and let Delaney treat me the way she does is another question I often find myself pondering. I suppose a part of me is scared to let go of the "friendship" I have with her, because where would I be if I decided not to hang out with the girls anymore? I'd be alone, and no one wants to be alone. Plus, there's my mother. I know she would ask questions if she noticed a shift in my social life. She'd worry that sending me away over the summer didn't work; that I was reverting back to old ways. That I was sick again. And I guess I don't want to have to go through the summer all over again.

Or maybe the truth is that it's just easier to pretend like everything is okay rather than acknowledge the fact that nothing is okay at all.

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a/n: it has literally been so long since i updated, but i finally got a laptop so hopefully i'll be able to keep up w an update schedule now! 😂 happy holidays to all of my lovely readers! :)